Day in the life of a Filipina Nurse Practitioner

🌤️ Saturday Morning Reflections — December 6, 2025

Hi everyone. Good morning.

It’s Saturday, and I’m proud of us — we’ve actually been consistent with these daily reflections. Mornings have become my sacred space: coffee in hand, piano playing softly in the background, and a few slow, deep breaths to ease my mind into mindfulness and meditation.

As I think back on this week, I want to honor the good.
After that long drive back from San Diego last weekend, I had a reset — a genuine moment of gratitude. I’m finally learning to notice beauty again. For so long, I’ve been focused on the struggle… always asking “why me?” but rarely stopping to appreciate how God has shown up for me — opened doors, provided, whispered reassurance.

I manifested this life years ago. I said I would become a nurse practitioner… and I did. Today, I’m living that reality. And now I’m dreaming even bigger — my own practice, a telehealth platform built on humanity and authentic care.

But I’ll be honest: the not knowing is stressful. Lately I’ve been questioning everything.

Last week, someone told me they found my videos. And it shook me. I know my reflections don’t reach many people — and that’s never been the point — but now I’m anxious about how sharing my personal journey could impact my career. It’s why I’ve paused posting on YouTube… even though I still record every day. These reflections matter to me. They help me feel seen — even if nobody is watching.

There’s also grief, fear, and uncertainty layered beneath it all. Losing a friend before Thanksgiving… wondering if I’m prioritizing the right things… questioning whether this path will ever take me where I want to go.

And here’s the truth:

✨ One of my biggest dreams has always been to travel the world with my mom.
I’m a mama’s girl — that will never change.

But while I’m building toward independence, while I’m working hard for those six years of supervision… time keeps moving. Four more years means four more years of waiting. Four years I could be spending with her — actually living. I ask myself:
What do I really value most?

Part of me wants to take a leap of faith.
Part of me is terrified of letting go of something I worked so hard for.

I’ve even asked my family:
“Would you be disappointed if I chose happiness? If I went home to the Philippines with Mom for a while?”

And the truth is…
Both answers live in me.
One part would feel like I’m giving up — another part would feel deeply proud.

Because what I’m building here isn’t just a career. It’s a movement:
▸ speaking openly about mental health
▸ ending stigma around vulnerability
▸ encouraging others to be their authentic selves
▸ reminding people that strength and softness can coexist

People have misunderstood me before. I’ve been accused of hiding things or not being honest enough. So this — these videos, these words — are me showing my truth.
Even if it costs friendships.
Even if it risks opportunities.
Even if it’s scary.

At least I am showing up.
At least I am not hiding.
At least you can see how my mind works and understand me a little better.

Yes, I’m highly functional.
Yes, I still struggle.
Yes, I still overthink.
But this is how I survive. This is how I process.

I don’t have the answers yet. I’m still deciding:
Do I stay the course for security?
Or jump toward joy and trust that I’ll find my way?

Maybe happiness won’t just be temporary.
Maybe it will become joy.
Maybe that joy will be enough to carry me forward.

For now, I’m letting the universe guide me.

I’ll keep working.
I’ll keep dreaming.
I’ll keep believing that the right path will reveal itself.

And I’m asking you — if you’re here reading or listening — to believe in me too. To support this mission of community, honesty, and healing. To like, comment, share, subscribe when I’m ready to show up again. Not because of the algorithm — but because every time one person believes, the world feels a little lighter.

This is day five of showing up for my voice.
A commitment to keep going.
Even when fear tries to silence me.

I’m hoping one day, someone will hold my hand through this creative leap and say:
“I believe in you. Keep going.”

Until then, I’ll keep believing in myself.

Happy Saturday.
Have a gentle weekend. 🌷