December 8, 2025 | By @inspireauthenticliving — FNP.Jas
Hi everyone, this is @inspireauthenticliving by FNP.Jas.
Another cold San Francisco morning — 46 degrees, dry lips, and a rainbow somewhere in the fog. I’m heading to work, exhausted and anxious, but here. Still showing up.
Today I stress-ate four red velvet cupcakes and a slice of chocolate mousse cake. Not my best decision… but I’m being honest: sometimes surviving looks like sugar and frosting. Sometimes joy is temporary, but it gets you through the moment. And the realities of life? They hit different when you’re trying to hold a dream together.
I’m a Filipina Nurse Practitioner — carving a path that doesn’t fully exist yet for women like me. I need six years of physician supervision before I can practice independently. So I show up for my patients, because showing up for them is also showing up for me. It’s showing up for the future I’m still fighting for.
And yes… I’ve been second-guessing myself lately.
These videos. These reflections. This openness. I worry — was it the wrong decision to put so much of my truth online? Professionally risky? Maybe. But mentally? It saved me. Sharing my story became a lifeline when anxiety tried to silence me.
I remind myself:
Girl… don’t put so much pressure on yourself.
Even if you could’ve done better — you STILL did it.
You took the step. You followed the dream.
If the universe decides that was the wrong turn, then I’ll just pivot again — stronger, wiser, softer where I need to be. I don’t break when I fall. I stand back up. Every time. Because resilience is rooted in my bones… and in the people who believe in me. My mom. My brother. The family I never want to disappoint.
Lately, anxiety has been loud. The unknown terrifies me. But the only thing I can control right now is letting go — trusting that what’s meant for me will come, even if the timing feels like a storm.
Lunchtime Diaries — Duboce Park Reflections
I’m outside, bundled up, eating an egg-salad sandwich and my weight-loss jelly in a freezing park because the sun is out and life is too beautiful to hide from. I tell myself:
I may be anxious —
but anxiety does not define me.
She comes along for the ride, yes…
but she no longer drives.
I’ve spent years letting anxiety dictate my days. Now I’m learning to just be — allowing joy, allowing rest, allowing sadness without shame. There are things I can control, and things I absolutely cannot. The ones I can’t? I surrender them to the universe… with shaky hands but a hopeful heart.
Because I still believe in the destiny I’m creating.
Even with detours.
Even with pauses.
Even with fear.
I’m redefining myself beyond my credentials.
I’m a healer. A storyteller. A human being in progress.
And that makes me better at what I do.
Oh — and I’m going home to the Philippines in February. Growth also looks like reconnecting with where it all began. If you see me — come say hi. I’d love that.
After-Work Reflections — Choosing Life Again
14 patients today.
My body hurts, my mind is tired, and all I want is sleep.
But I also want to reflect — because no one should ever feel alone in their mental health struggles, especially those of us who spend our lives caring for others.
This season feels like grief, like loneliness, like losing friends and questioning my place in the world. The mid-life “What now?” is real, and it’s loud. But I’ve decided:
I want to prioritize joy.
I want to prioritize family.
I want to prioritize ME.
I have a dream — and I still want that dream to be possible.
Change is coming. I can feel it.
But it must be sustainable.
It must be rooted in love, not fear.
Maybe I’ll fail. Maybe I’ll soar. Maybe I’ll lead in ways nobody expected. But at least I’m MAKING IT HAPPEN. At least I’m choosing life with purpose instead of letting life drag me along.
I may not ever win Miss Universe —
but I’m building a universe where I make a difference.
For my patients. For my community. For the next Filipina NP who needs to see herself represented.
Thank you for being here — even when I disappear.
If you leave, that’s okay.
When I return stronger, those who are meant to stay… will stay.
Happy Holidays.
Thank you for walking this path with me.
I love you all.
— @inspireauthenticliving by FNP.Jas
Filipina Nurse Practitioner Diaries: Living with purpose. Making it happen. Trusting the detours.
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