I thought I crashed and burned again this year.
I really did.
But instead of destroying me, the discomfort cracked me open.
2025 taught me one of the most important lessons of my life:
to be my authentic self and to take full ownership of my agency.
This year humbled me.
It asked me to surrender—to the universe, to timing, to outcomes I could not control.
And in that surrender, I learned how to live in the present instead of resisting it.
What I once labeled as failure was actually alignment.
What felt like rejection was redirection.
And what hurt the most ended up shaping me into someone more honest, grounded, and free.
I’m walking into the next year with less fear, more trust,
and a deeper commitment to living a life that feels true to me. 🌿
Another Beautiful Day to Be Gorgeous
Hi everyone. Good morning.
It’s another beautiful day to be gorgeous.
Before diving deeper into this reflection, I want to start the way many of my mornings begin—slow, grounded, and present. Lately, that looks like a simple skincare routine. With the cold San Francisco weather drying out my skin, I’ve been using a Korean madeca cream that’s been incredibly hydrating. It’s a small ritual, but it reminds me to take care of myself before I give anything to the world.
And maybe that’s the theme of this year too—tending to myself first.
Love, Memory, and Emotional Truth
Last night, I started watching a Filipino series that unexpectedly stirred something in me. It reminded me of who I was in 2021, 2022, and 2023—those moments of butterflies, of happy crushes, of feeling alive in love.
Watching the main character get excited over a text, over time and attention that wasn’t always consistent, felt uncomfortably familiar. I saw myself in her. I remembered what it felt like to love someone deeply, openly, and without restraint.
I still think about that version of me.
I loved how deeply I could feel.
How unconditionally I could give.
How brave I was to love—even when it wasn’t fully reciprocated.
Yes, there were red flags.
Yes, I prioritized someone who didn’t always prioritize me back.
Yes, my happiness became tied to someone else’s availability.
And yes, looking back, I can name those patterns more clearly now.
But I also refuse to shame that version of myself.
Because she loved honestly.
She showed up fully.
She trusted—even when it scared her.
That mattered.
Emotions Are Not a Weakness
I’ve spent a lot of time wrestling with the idea that I “feel too much.”
That I act from emotion.
That I struggle to control my reactions.
But here’s the truth I’m finally learning to accept:
Being emotional doesn’t make me weak. It makes me human.
Now, I pause more.
I reflect before reacting.
I consider consequences.
But I don’t numb myself anymore.
I honor my emotions instead of fighting them—and that has been incredibly healing.
Identity, Professionalism, and Authenticity
One of the biggest internal conflicts I faced this year was reconciling my identity as a nurse practitioner with my desire to live authentically and openly.
Being a nurse practitioner comes with responsibility.
Leadership.
Professionalism.
The expectation to always be “put together.”
And sometimes, that made me question:
- Can I still be myself?
- Can I be real online?
- Can I be human and still be respected?
I’m realizing now—why not both?
Why can’t professionalism include authenticity?
Why can’t leadership include vulnerability?
Why can’t a nurse practitioner be competent, respected, and fully herself?
Doctors and nurse practitioners are human too.
We feel. We struggle. We heal—and not just others, but ourselves.
And honestly, that humanity is what makes me a better provider.
It deepens my empathy.
It strengthens my connection with my patients.
It allows me to say, “I get it—because I’ve been there.”
The Platform I’m Building
As I move forward, I’m getting clearer about the pillars of my platform—and at the center of it all is authenticity.
I want to create a space where:
- Rawness is welcomed
- Truth is celebrated
- Being yourself is not a liability, but a strength
I want to show that you can live a meaningful, professional life and honor who you truly are. That you don’t have to shrink into a box to be respected. That you’re allowed to dream beyond the roles you’ve been given.
This is me choosing agency.
This is me choosing honesty.
This is me choosing myself.
Walking Into the Next Year
I’m not walking into the next year with everything figured out.
But I am walking in with trust.
Trust in timing.
Trust in alignment.
Trust that what’s meant for me will not miss me.
And most importantly, trust in myself.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for witnessing my growth.
Thank you for allowing me to be real.
Please continue to live authentically.
Please continue to choose yourself.
It’s another beautiful day to be gorgeous—and it’s going to be a beautiful year to be gorgeous too. 💛
Day in the life of a Filipina Nurse Practitioner 
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