A Lunchtime Diaries Journal — January 6, 2026
Hi everyone. Good morning.
Today is January 6, 2026, and it’s another beautiful day to be gorgeous.
I’m writing this during a quiet moment in the middle of the day. It’s around 2:00 p.m., and I’m at home, sitting with my thoughts. This is one of those reflections that didn’t come from planning—it came from pausing. From finally slowing down enough to listen to what’s been occupying my mind lately.
Still Figuring It Out
Lately, I’ve been thinking deeply about purpose—about where I am in life and where I’m going. I want to say this honestly and openly:
I’m still figuring it out.
I know I talk a lot about growth, healing, and progress—and those things are real. But I think it’s just as important to acknowledge that clarity doesn’t always come all at once. Sometimes we’re still in the middle of becoming, and that space deserves honesty too.
I’m not perfect. I don’t have everything mapped out. And right now, I’m learning to trust that not having all the answers doesn’t mean I’m lost.
Two Years as a Nurse Practitioner
I’ve been a nurse practitioner for two years now, and I truly do find purpose in my work. I’m proud of what I do. I’m grateful for my patients and the trust they place in me. Being a provider carries meaning, responsibility, and a sense of pride that I don’t take lightly.
At the same time, I’ve found myself asking a deeper question:
How much of my identity is tied to being a nurse practitioner—and how much of me is allowed to just be human?
This role comes with expectations. Professionalism. Respect. Being composed. Being a role model. And I understand why those expectations exist. I honor them.
But I also know that I am not just a title.
Cultural Identity and Authenticity
I am Filipina.
I eat with my hands because that’s my culture.
I wear house clothes at home.
I find joy in simplicity.
Sometimes I catch myself wondering how those parts of me are perceived when shared publicly.
What if my patients saw me eating with my hands?
What if they saw me being soft, emotional, and unfiltered?
Would they still respect me the same way?
These thoughts have been sitting with me. And I think what I’m really questioning is whether authenticity and professionalism can coexist.
Can I Be Both?
Can I be a nurse practitioner and a raw, authentic human being?
The answer I keep coming back to—slowly, gently—is yes.
But finding that balance is not easy.
What I’ve noticed, though, is that when I lean into my authenticity, it actually deepens my work. When I allow myself to be human, my patients feel it. They don’t just see a provider—they see someone who listens, who understands, who holds space.
Authenticity hasn’t taken away from my professionalism.
It has strengthened it.
Mental Health, Empathy, and Lived Experience
I’ve been open with my patients about mental health—not from a place of authority, but from a place of understanding. I don’t just speak from textbooks or guidelines. I speak from lived experience.
I’ve been through deep darkness.
I’ve been heartbroken.
I’ve been lost.
Those dark moments began years ago—after my first major heartbreak in 2019. Losing someone I loved deeply shook me. The pain felt consuming, isolating, and endless.
What helped me survive was leaning into myself. Traveling solo. Seeing the world on my own terms. Learning that I was capable—capable of navigating life alone, finding joy alone, and trusting myself.
Solo travel taught me strength I didn’t know I had.
Asking for Help Saved Me
Even after healing, life wasn’t suddenly easy. I loved again. I got hurt again. And I found myself back in darkness.
There was a moment when I felt like it would be easier if everything just stopped.
I’m still here because I asked for help.
I’m still here because people showed up.
There is no shame in needing attention when you are hurting. Wanting to be seen is not weakness—it is survival.
I share this with my patients because I want them to know that hope doesn’t always look like positivity. Sometimes hope looks like holding on long enough to reach out.
Why I Share My Story With Patients
When I sit across from patients struggling with depression, anxiety, or hopelessness, I don’t speak from theory alone. I speak from experience.
I can say, honestly: I understand.
That humanity—the part of me that has been broken and rebuilt—is not something I want to hide. It’s the part that gives my work meaning. It’s what allows my patients to feel seen, not judged.
Dreaming of a Simple Life
Outside of my work, I’m dreaming of a life rooted in simplicity.
A life where I take my mom traveling.
A life connected to the Philippines.
A life that values presence, peace, and time over constant productivity.
I don’t see these dreams as conflicting with my role as a nurse practitioner anymore. I see them as part of the same story—different expressions of purpose.
What 2025 Taught Me
2025 was difficult. It humbled me. It stretched me. It asked me to surrender—to uncertainty, to timing, to growth that didn’t feel comfortable.
Now, stepping into 2026, I feel more grounded. Not because I have all the answers, but because I trust myself more. I trust the process. I trust that the questions themselves are part of becoming.
Choosing Balance Over Perfection
Balance doesn’t mean choosing one identity over another.
Balance means allowing myself to exist fully.
I’m learning that it’s okay to be both professional and human. Provider and daughter. Strong and soft. Grounded and still questioning.
This is where I am right now—reflecting, learning, and choosing to show up anyway.
If you’re in a season of uncertainty too, please know this:
You don’t have to have it all figured out to be worthy.
You don’t have to be perfect to live with purpose.
Today is January 6, 2026, and it’s another beautiful day to be gorgeous.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for listening to my reflections.
With love,
Jasmine
Filipina Nurse Practitioner | Inspire Authentic Living
Day in the life of a Filipina Nurse Practitioner 
Leave a comment