Waymo Diaries × Lunchtime Diaries | Inspire Authentic Living
January 7, 2026
Hi everyone, good morning.
It’s January 7th, 2026—and it’s another beautiful day to be gorgeous.
I’m on my way to work, heading into another Waymo Diaries moment, and today I want to talk about grief.
Because the funny thing about grief is that it’s something we all experience—but it doesn’t always look the way we expect it to.
Grieving Someone Who Is Still Alive
When we talk about grief, we often think about death. But the grief I’m sitting with today is quieter and more complicated. It’s the grief of a friendship I lost—not because of a big fight or dramatic ending, but because of silence.
He’s ghosting me.
And that kind of grief hits differently. It’s disappointing. It’s confusing. And it hurts because I truly believed our friendship was stronger than that.
At first, this grief showed up daily. I talked about it a lot. If you look back at my older videos, you’ll hear me reflect on losing friends and connections. But over time, something shifted. I stopped talking about it as much—not because it disappeared, but because it changed.
Now, it visits me only once in a while.
Today is one of those days.
Loving Someone Even in Their Absence
I recently talked about this with one of my closest friends. And while we both acknowledged that we still think about him—still wish him well—it made me realize something important.
That space I still hold for him doesn’t mean I’m stuck.
It means I loved genuinely.
Even though we’re no longer aligned.
Even though we’re no longer present in each other’s lives.
And that says something about me.
Getting Used to the Silence
The funny thing about grief is that you think you’ll never move on.
But one day, you realize:
- You’ve gotten used to their silence
- You’ve gotten used to their absence
- You’re moving forward—without even noticing when it started
And yes, that realization is sad.
But it’s also telling.
It tells a story about growth.
About boundaries.
About where I’m going next.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I am growing. A lot. Especially over the past year.
Opening Up, Even When It Doesn’t Work Out
This growth really began at the end of 2024, when I tried to build a relationship that ultimately wasn’t meant to last.
I opened up. I allowed myself to be vulnerable. And the more I showed my true self, the more I realized this wasn’t the right person to open up to.
And that’s okay.
Yes, I regret opening up sometimes—but in that moment, I believed I was building something real. Sometimes you try. Sometimes you fail.
And I’m learning that failure isn’t a bad thing.
It’s redirection.
It’s protection.
That connection showed me who he really was—and I’m grateful for that clarity. I can now confidently say I gave it a chance, I saw his value, and I also recognized when that value diminished.
The Grief That Truly Scares Me
If I’m being honest, the grief I fear most isn’t about friendships or relationships.
It’s the thought of losing my mom.
She’s my rock. My foundation. My reason. And I don’t know how I would survive that kind of grief.
That fear is exactly why I’m building a future where I spend more time with her. Where I can show her what her sacrifices made possible.
I did that when I graduated from UCSF as a Nurse Practitioner.
I did that when I took her to Europe.
And I want to do more.
Because she’s getting older—and she deserves to see the world I get to see because of her.
Lunchtime Diaries: Wisdom from Unexpected Places
Later in the day, I found myself back outside at Bose Park—finally doing Lunchtime Diaries again after weeks of rain.
And today, something beautiful happened.
My patients shared wisdom with me.
They talked about choosing the life they want to live. About letting go of fear. About moving forward without waiting for permission.
And honestly? It felt like the universe speaking directly to me.
They reminded me that I’m exactly where I need to be—as a nurse practitioner, as a human, as someone learning to trust herself.
Agency, Purpose, and Choosing Myself
I’m working toward a future where I live freely. Independently. With agency.
I want to travel with my mom.
I want to live simply—maybe even in the Philippines someday.
I want to share my truth and empower others to do the same.
This platform I’m building—this space for authenticity—it matters to me.
I’m on Day 12 of my “It’s another beautiful day to be gorgeous” series, and even when people stare at me in public while I film, I keep going.
That’s growth.
My Plan and the Universe’s Plan Can Coexist
I used to believe that the universe’s plan was greater than mine.
But now I see it differently.
My plan is equal to what the universe has planned for me.
That doesn’t diminish faith—it honors agency.
I can dream. I can plan. And I can still trust that whatever unfolds is meant for me.
Failures aren’t failures.
They’re redirections.
Choosing Authenticity, Even When It’s Cringe
Sometimes I tell myself, Girl, this is so cringe.
Believing I can be an influencer with purpose.
Sharing my raw, imperfect thoughts.
But this is who I am.
I’m not perfect. I’m just real.
And if sharing my story helps even one person feel seen, feel beautiful, feel empowered—then it’s worth it.
Closing Thoughts
This is me choosing myself.
Believing in myself.
Taking steps toward a life I want to live.
Thank you for watching me grow.
Thank you for holding space for my reflections.
It’s January 7th, 2026—and it’s another beautiful day to be gorgeous.
🌈
Day in the life of a Filipina Nurse Practitioner 
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