A Filipina Nurse Practitioner’s Journey Toward Simplicity, Healing, and Radical Self-Accountability
January 21, 2026 — It’s another beautiful day to be gorgeous.
This morning, I woke up before my alarm — not because I had to, but because my heart was already awake.
There are days when your body is tired, but your soul feels restless in the most beautiful way. That was today. I found myself quietly reflecting before work, sitting in that gentle space between who I am and who I am becoming.
I’m on my way to work in San Francisco, living my present life as a nurse practitioner — caring for patients, moving through busy clinic days — while quietly dreaming about a future that feels softer, slower, and deeply aligned with my spirit.
And right now… that future feels like the Philippines.
In less than two weeks, I’ll be there.
Not just traveling — but healing. Resetting. Remembering. Reconnecting with a version of myself that exists beyond productivity and performance.
This trip is more than a vacation.
It’s a preview of the life I’m slowly designing.
Living in the Present While Building the Life I Want
I am learning how to hold two truths at once:
I am grateful for where I am.
And I am deeply called toward where I want to go.
I show up every day as a Family Nurse Practitioner. I manage complex cases, care for patients, and move through the structure of a demanding healthcare system. I honor that version of myself — because she worked hard to get here.
But behind the scenes, quietly and intentionally, I am also building a vision of something simpler:
A life where:
- Peace matters more than productivity
- Presence matters more than performance
- Alignment matters more than appearances
This isn’t about escaping responsibility.
It’s about choosing a life that actually feels like living.
Burnout Isn’t Just Career — It’s Emotional, Relational, and Existential
When people hear burnout, they often think career.
But my burnout is deeper than that.
It’s burnout from:
- Trying to please everyone
- Carrying emotional labor in friendships
- Over-explaining my choices
- Shrinking parts of myself to maintain comfort for others
I’ve realized something important in this season:
I wasn’t just tired of work — I was tired of performing.
And with that realization comes grief.
Because yes… I’ve lost friends.
And losing friends hurts.
Not because they were bad people.
But because at one point, they were my people.
There’s a quiet sadness when you realize that some relationships were meant for seasons, not lifetimes. There’s grief in realizing that not everyone is meant to grow with you — and that doesn’t make anyone wrong.
It just makes it honest.
Choosing Me Without Guilt or Apology
I’m 37, turning 38 in May — and for the first time in my life, I can say this clearly and confidently:
I am choosing me.
Not in a selfish way —
but in a self-honoring way.
For most of my life, I prioritized:
- Friendships over alignment
- Other people’s comfort over my truth
- Being liked over being authentic
I used to ask:
“Will this upset them?”
“Will they still accept me?”
“Is this too much?”
Now I ask:
“Is this aligned with who I am becoming?”
“Does this bring me peace?”
“Is this the life I want to live?”
Choosing yourself isn’t about abandoning others.
It’s about finally standing beside yourself.
And the people meant for you will stand there too.
Accountability: The Hardest and Most Liberating Form of Freedom
Here’s what growth has taught me:
I cannot surrender to the universe without taking responsibility for my own life.
Surrender is not passive.
It’s not waiting.
It’s not hoping without action.
Surrender is:
Trust + Responsibility + Courage
I am accountable for:
- The life I build
- The boundaries I keep
- The peace I protect
- The dreams I pursue
- The standards I set
The universe may guide me —
But I still have to walk.
And that realization is empowering.
Because it reminds me:
I am not powerless in my own story.
Why the Philippines Represents More Than a Destination
I don’t yet know the exact moment I’ll move to the Philippines.
But I know exactly why I want to.
Because I crave:
- Simplicity
- Quiet mornings
- Slower days
- Less noise
- More life
I want:
A life where silence feels safe
A life where rest isn’t earned
A life where peace is normal
A life where joy is slow and sustainable
I want to travel the world with my mom.
I want to live gently.
I want to build a life that supports my nervous system — not one that constantly overwhelms it.
And while I am still planning, still preparing, still creating Plan B and Plan C —
I am also allowing myself to dream without guilt.
Because dreaming is part of becoming.
Letting Go of Who Can’t Walk With Me
Not everyone will understand this version of me.
Not everyone will celebrate this growth.
Not everyone will choose to stay.
And that’s okay.
The people meant to walk with me will choose me — just as I choose myself.
I no longer chase validation.
I walk in alignment.
I no longer perform.
I embody.
I no longer shrink.
I expand — gently, intentionally, unapologetically.
A Letter to My Future Self
Dear Future Me,
I hope when you look back on this season, you smile.
Not because it was easy —
But because you were brave.
You didn’t wait for permission.
You didn’t silence your calling.
You didn’t abandon your truth.
You showed up.
You tried.
You believed — even when it was scary, lonely, or uncertain.
You chose yourself.
Again and again.
And because of that…
You are now living the life you once only whispered about.
With love,
Your past self — who believed before it was visible.
Final Reflection: Designing a Life With Intention and Trust
Today, I am choosing a life I want to live.
I am owning every step, every decision, every pivot.
And I am surrendering the outcome to the universe — with trust, not fear.
Because this is what it looks like
to live authentically.
To evolve consciously.
To design intentionally.
And as always…
It’s another beautiful day
to be gorgeous,
stunning,
beautiful,
and becoming.
Day in the life of a Filipina Nurse Practitioner 
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