Day in the life of a Filipina Nurse Practitioner

February 6, 2026 | Philippines

Hi everyone, good evening. 🤍

This is a quiet reflection — not a polished one, not a performative one — just an honest one.

I came to the Philippines and took a month off work to focus on myself. But the deeper work I’m doing here isn’t just rest — it’s reflection. It’s asking hard questions. It’s sitting with discomfort. It’s letting myself look at who I am, how I got here, and who I’m becoming.

Lately, I’ve been asking myself:

Why do I question myself so much?
Why do I wonder if I’m too difficult to love?
Why do my overthinking thoughts overpower my positive ones?

I know this kind of self-talk isn’t healthy — but I also know that healing means going to the root, not avoiding it. I don’t want to silence the questions. I want to understand them.

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Midlife Questions at 37

Maybe this is what people call a midlife crisis.

At 37, I’m questioning where I am in life — even though, on paper, I’ve “made it.”

I’ve built stability. I’ve achieved the goals I once dreamed of. I’ve become a nurse practitioner. I’ve created a career rooted in purpose, service, and impact.

And yet — I’m still asking:

Is this the right place?
Is this the right version of me?

What I know is this: I live with purpose. I care deeply about mental health — not just in my content, but in my practice. I value healing, safety, emotional well-being, and humanity in healthcare. And that part of me keeps me grounded.

This life didn’t come easy. It took years of work, resilience, pain, learning, unlearning, and survival.

But the truth is — for most of my life, I wasn’t living.

I was surviving.

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Representation, Identity, and the Girl Who Dreamed

Growing up, I didn’t have many role models.

When people asked me what I wanted to be, I said:

• A celebrity
• Miss Universe

It sounds delusional — and maybe it was — but it came from something real: a desire to be seen, to matter, to make an impact.

Now I understand something different:

I don’t need a crown.
I don’t need a stage.
I don’t need a title.

My platform is my voice.
My crown is my authenticity.
My impact is my story.

Representation isn’t about perfection — it’s about presence.

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Bullying, Survival, and Self-Belief

I rarely talk about this, but I was bullied.

In middle school. In high school. And later, in parts of my nursing career.

I was the quiet girl.
The loner.
The shy one.
The one who didn’t belong.

I learned how to survive by staying quiet.
By being small.
By being agreeable.
By not taking up space.

Even in healthcare, I experienced bullying — from colleagues, from systems, from hierarchies. I learned how to endure instead of protect myself.

But I also learned something else:

I believed in myself.

Enough to get into UC Berkeley.
Enough to survive it.
Enough to move to San Francisco.
Enough to dream of UCSF.
Enough to apply.
Enough to walk into spaces I never thought I belonged in.
Enough to become a nurse practitioner.

Every step forward was built on self-belief — even when fear was louder.

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Why I Make These Videos

I still ask myself:

Why do I keep doing this?
Why do I keep sharing?
Why do I keep showing up?

The answer is simple:

Because I believe in myself.

These videos are my agency.
My voice.
My healing.
My documentation.
My proof.

I’m not fully healed.
I’m not fully whole.
I’m not fully confident.

But I am becoming.

And becoming deserves to be witnessed.

I believe that sharing my mental health journey matters.
I believe stories save lives.
I believe representation heals.
I believe vulnerability creates safety.

I’ve been in dark places.
Isolation.
Depression.
Exhaustion.
Losing hope.
Feeling like I wasn’t enough.

And I survived.

If my voice reaches one person — that matters.
If my story helps one person — that matters.
If my presence reminds someone they’re not alone — that matters.

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Rebuilding, Slowly and Honestly

I’m rebuilding myself — not based on who others want me to be — but on who I truly am.

It’s lonely.
It’s quiet.
It’s uncomfortable.

But it’s also peaceful.

I no longer want to perform.
I no longer want to seek permission.
I no longer want to shrink.

I want to live as myself.

Authentic.
Imperfect.
Evolving.
Learning.
Healing.

This journey isn’t linear.
It’s messy.
It’s emotional.
It’s human.

And that’s okay.

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A Promise to Myself

I promise myself this:

I will keep choosing me.
I will keep believing.
I will keep showing up.
I will keep using my voice.
I will keep healing out loud.
I will keep becoming.

Even when it’s slow.
Even when it’s quiet.
Even when it’s lonely.
Even when it’s scary.

Because the voice that matters most is mine.
The love that matters most is mine.
The belief that matters most is mine.

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Thank you for listening.
Thank you for witnessing.
Thank you for walking this journey with me.

Let’s keep choosing authenticity.
Let’s keep choosing healing.
Let’s keep choosing courage.
Let’s keep choosing ourselves. 🤍

— Jasmine