Eight Hours at BKK Part 1: Waiting, Healing & Learning to Sit With Myself
February 20, 2026 — Suvarnabhumi Airport (BKK), Bangkok
Good morning, everyone.
Today is February 20, 2026, and we are back at the airport — Suvarnabhumi Airport — with eight hours to spare before our 8:50 p.m. flight.
It’s only 11:40 a.m., and check-in won’t open until later. So here we are, learning a lesson that travel teaches over and over again: sometimes, you just have to wait.
And in the waiting, you meet yourself.
When the Universe Mutes the Mic
Yesterday at the pool, I recorded a reflection that no one could hear.
I had left the mic on the lounge chair while I spoke from the water.
At first, I was frustrated. That reflection was raw — about friendships, distance, and the quiet grief of realizing some relationships are no longer as active as they once were.
But maybe the universe muted it for a reason.
Maybe that moment was meant to be lived, not shared.
A private chapter in a very public healing journey.
I still posted the video with music — not for the words, but for the memory of who I was in that moment.
Eight Hours to Kill — or Eight Hours to Feel?
Mom slept well. I asked her twice just to be sure.
She’s right behind me now, resting her foot — still sore from all our walking. Travel looks glamorous online, but in real life, it comes with swollen feet, slow steps, and patience.
We tried to see if we could catch an earlier flight to the Philippines. No luck. The airline only flies once or twice a day. Midnight arrival it is.
I’ll admit — driving home at midnight makes me uneasy.
I grew up believing in spirits, in respecting darkness, in honoring the quiet spaces of the land. It’s not fear — it’s reverence.
Still, if that’s how the journey unfolds, we’ll face it together.
Healing Isn’t a Straight Line
Somewhere between Chiang Mai and Bangkok, I started speaking more openly about my healing journey.
I’m past the midpoint now.
And I’ve realized something important:
I cannot expect to be 100% healed after one month.
Healing is not a straight climb upward.
It is waves. Peaks. Dips. Stillness. Storms.
There are days I feel 150%.
There are days I feel 25%.
And sometimes, I hit zero.
That doesn’t mean I failed.
That means I’m human.
As a nurse practitioner, I’ve seen patients expect instant healing — as if effort guarantees a straight path upward. But healing doesn’t work like that. And neither do I.
I am learning to accept the fluctuations instead of fearing them.
Lunch, Lounge Access & Little Luxuries
We eventually made our way to the Miracle Business Lounge using Priority Pass. I have to say — lounge access has changed the way I experience travel. Fresh fruit, pastries, quiet seating, a place to breathe.
I’m not sponsored — just genuinely grateful.
I filled my plate with pineapple, guava, and strawberries, savoring the freshness. I know that once we’re back in the Philippines, fruit won’t be this accessible for me every day.
Mom and I sampled strawberry ice cream and vanilla cake, laughing about how “Asian ice cream tastes different.” Too sweet, too artificial — but still part of the experience.
Travel isn’t about perfection.
It’s about participation.
On Unfollows, Weight Gain & Choosing Myself Anyway
Lately, I’ve noticed the unfollows.
Seventy-two, to be exact.
And strangely, I’m okay.
Because I’m no longer curating a version of myself for approval. I’m showing up as I am — weight gain, healing in progress, messy emotions and all.
Yes, I’ve gained weight.
Yes, I see it in my videos.
Yes, it reflects stress, anxiety, and also joy — because I allowed myself to enjoy food without guilt.
For the first time, I can say this with honesty:
I love myself even here.
That doesn’t mean I won’t work toward better health. I will. Not out of shame — but out of love. I want to live longer. I want to feel stronger. I want to enjoy the life I fought so hard to choose.
And maybe I don’t need to wait until I’m back in the U.S.
Maybe healing starts today.
A Mother Beside Me, A Journey Ahead
Mom sits beside me, quietly observing everything — the people, the announcements, the rhythm of departures and arrivals.
We still have ten days left in the Philippines.
Ten more days to reflect.
Ten more days to heal.
Ten more days to simply be.
Thailand was a beautiful pause — six days of exploration, productivity, and shared joy. I showed her the places I once explored alone. And in doing so, I healed a version of myself who once wished she wasn’t alone.
If You’re Waiting, You’re Still Moving
Airports are strange places — liminal spaces between who you were and who you’re becoming.
Today, I am not fully healed.
Today, I am not fully certain.
Today, I am not fully anything.
But I am here.
And that is enough.
Another beautiful day to be gorgeous.
With love from BKK,
Jasmine & Mama ✈️
Day in the life of a Filipina Nurse Practitioner 
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