Day in the life of a Filipina Nurse Practitioner

Slow mornings. Quiet healing. Big questions. Gentle becoming.

A raw journal entry from the Philippines — February 26, 2026

Hi everyone. Good morning 🤍

It’s February 26, 2026, and it’s another beautiful day to be gorgeous, stunning, amazing, kind, and alive.

This morning feels soft. Slow. Quiet in the way only the province can be. Coffee in my hands. Pandesal from yesterday that my mom bought. The air moving through the trees. Dogs barking in the distance. Birds chirping. The wind brushing through the house. A rooster crowing somewhere nearby. Life happening naturally, without noise, without rush, without pressure.

Morning Rituals in the Province

This is our little morning routine here in the Philippines — simple coffee, simple bread, simple presence.

I did a quick “early morning coffee with Jas” moment while the coffee was still too hot to drink, and I just sat there listening to the sounds of the world waking up. It felt grounding in a way I don’t always feel in the city. There’s something sacred about mornings like this — no agenda, no productivity pressure, no expectations.

Healing Isn’t a Finish Line

Lately, my reflections have felt… clearer.

I don’t think I’m 100% healed — and I don’t think healing is ever really a finish line — but I do know I’m in a much better place. This trip has been a reset in the way I didn’t even realize I needed. Not a dramatic reset. Not a forced one. Just a gentle one.

I’ve been having dreams about past relationships. Old versions of myself. Old emotions. Old memories. And I can feel the anxiety in my body sometimes — especially knowing I’m going home in three days. I’m excited, but my nervous system knows routine is coming back. Work. Structure. Responsibility. Real life.

It’s like my body is whispering: Enjoy the stillness while you can.

I notice how much I’m loving simplicity now.
Quiet.
Peace.
Slow mornings.
No rush.
No urgency.

I texted a friend a few days ago — not knowing how it would be received, just knowing my heart told me to do it. It didn’t go anywhere. It was met with absence. But I’m still proud of myself for listening to my heart instead of my fear. Sometimes doing the brave thing doesn’t come with the outcome we want — it just comes with peace.

Thinking About the Future

I’m thinking a lot about the future too.

Traveling more with my mom.
Using my unlimited PTO intentionally.
Not living only for work.
Creating a life that actually feels like living.

At the end of March, I’ll be going to Honolulu, Hawaii for a week for a conference — funded by work — and I’m honestly excited not just for the education hours, but for the space, the ocean, the pause, the reset.

Building Dreams vs. Building Security

And then there’s this bigger question that keeps coming up in my heart:

Do I invest in building here in the Philippines… or do I work toward owning a home in California?

In the U.S., it’s logic.
Return on investment.
Long-term income.
Stability.
Assets.

But it’s also:
10+ years of mortgage.
Constant pressure.
High cost of living.
Endless work cycles.

Here in the Philippines, it’s different.
I already have land.
I can build slowly.
I can create intentionally.
I can design a dream — not just buy a structure.

I imagine a Bali-inspired home.
A full deck for yoga and meditation.
A Filipino-inspired space that honors nature and culture.
A retreat house.
A healing space.
A place for rest, for stillness, for community.

Not just a house — but a vision.

And when I sit with it honestly, I realize something:

What makes sense financially isn’t always what makes sense emotionally.
What looks smart on paper isn’t always what feels right in the soul.

Right now, my heart leans toward building a dream — not just building equity.

Softening Old Patterns

This healing journey in the Philippines is also showing me parts of myself I’m learning to soften.

My irritability.
My high expectations.
My need for control.
My fear of abandonment.

Healing the Mother–Daughter Relationship

Especially in my relationship with my mom.

We had moments before our Bangkok trip where I felt unseen, undervalued, unchosen. Old wounds surfaced. Old stories played in my mind. I almost walked away from that trip. I almost shut down. I almost pulled away.

But healing made me pause.

It made me realize:
She is human.
She has emotions.
She has her own agency.
She has her own life.

She is more than just my mom.

As a nurse practitioner, I see what happens when people lose their sense of agency — especially in aging populations. I see how depression, sadness, and grief often come from losing control over their own lives.

So how can I want freedom for myself… but restrict it for her?

How can I ask to live my life authentically… but not allow her to live hers?

That realization humbled me.

I’m learning to let her choose.
To let her live.
To let her enjoy.
To let her love people.
To let her have her own world.

And in doing that, our relationship is softening.
Opening.
Healing.

We’ve cried together.
Talked more honestly.
Shared more vulnerably.
Sat in silence together.
Laughed more freely.

And I feel closer to her — not because I control her, but because I’m learning to understand her.

Healing as a Shared Journey

This healing journey isn’t just about me.
It’s about us.

About becoming kinder.
Softer.
More compassionate.
More patient.
More human.

I’m grateful for this season.
For this pause.
For this clarity.
For this reset.

Gratitude for the Journey

And I’m grateful for this platform — for being able to share my rawness, my thoughts, my fears, my dreams, and my healing without pretending I have it all figured out.

I’m showing up imperfect.
Anxious.
Hopeful.
Learning.
Growing.
Healing.

And that’s enough.

Thank you for being here.
Thank you for watching.
Thank you for growing with me.
Thank you for witnessing this journey.

If this platform grows, beautiful.
If it doesn’t, I trust the universe still has something greater waiting for me.

Either way — I choose peace.
I choose presence.
I choose healing.
I choose truth.
I choose myself.

With love always,
Jasmine 🤍