Good morning, you guys. Happy Wednesday 🤍
Today started like any other — on the way to work, soft light coming through the windows, and a quiet reminder that it’s another beautiful day to be alive… and honestly, another beautiful day to be gorgeous.
Before anything else, I just want to say thank you.
Thank you to everyone who has been watching my videos, sharing them, messaging me, and supporting me in ways I didn’t expect. I’m still in the process of monetizing my YouTube, and because of your suggestions, I created a Patreon last night. I even posted one of my deleted videos — something that felt a little scary, but also really freeing. And some of you already signed up… which still doesn’t feel real. So truly, thank you.
This whole journey — creating videos, sharing my life — it started as a creative outlet. But it’s becoming something deeper than that.
It’s becoming a form of healing.
The Reality of Becoming
I’m in my 30s, and if I’m being honest, I’m still figuring things out.
There’s this pressure to have everything aligned by now — career, purpose, identity. But the truth is, I’m exploring. I’m trying different avenues, asking myself: How do I make my dreams possible? And right now, one of those ways is through creating.
But with that comes fear.
We’re reaching more people now, and there are moments where I pause and ask myself — am I ready to be seen like this? There’s anxiety in visibility. There’s vulnerability in being known.
And yet… this is something I’ve always wanted.
To create.
To inspire.
To influence — but in a way that encourages people to be their most authentic selves.
Because that’s exactly what I’m learning how to do.
Breaking Out of the Box
For a long time, I felt like I was living inside a version of myself that was shaped by other people’s expectations.
Caring too much about what others think.
Holding back parts of who I am.
Staying within invisible boundaries.
And now, I’m slowly choosing myself.
Not perfectly. Not confidently all the time. But intentionally.
And that’s what I’m sharing with you — not a polished version of healing, but the process of becoming.
There are moments where I feel empowered, like I’m finally stepping into who I’m meant to be. And then there are moments where I question everything.
Is this the right path?
What if this doesn’t work?
What if being this open costs me something?
But that’s exactly why I keep going.
Because authenticity isn’t just the highlight reel — it’s the doubt, the overthinking, the pauses, the fear… and choosing yourself anyway.
Midday Reflections: Small Joys & Quiet Wins
By lunchtime, the day softened.
It was 77 degrees in San Francisco — one of those rare, perfect days where the sun feels like a gift. I stepped outside with a simple salad — garbanzo beans, tomatoes, corn, cucumber, red peppers — and just allowed myself to pause.
These moments matter more than we realize.
I had a lighter patient load today, which gave me space to breathe. And this morning, something small but meaningful happened — a new patient told me she chose me because she heard I give good care.
That stayed with me.
Because in the middle of questioning everything, sometimes you get these quiet reminders of why you do what you do.
And maybe I needed that today.
Living in the In-Between
Lately, I’ve been feeling a mix of gratitude and uncertainty.
I interviewed for a new position last week and was offered another interview. And now I’m sitting with it — not rushing, not reacting, just trying to move intentionally. I have therapy this week, and I want to process everything clearly before making decisions.
Because this is where I’m at right now:
In between where I am… and where I feel called to go.
There’s a version of my life that feels safe, structured, predictable.
And then there’s another version — one that feels expansive, uncertain, and honestly… a little scary.
The unknown.
And if I’ve learned anything, it’s that growth usually lives there.
Creating Despite the Fear
A big part of my anxiety lately has been tied to creating.
What if people judge me?
What if this affects my career?
What if I’m not ready for this kind of visibility?
But at the same time…
This is the most free I’ve ever felt.
Creating has given me a sense of agency — like I finally have control over how I express myself, how I show up, and who I allow myself to be.
It’s no longer about hiding behind walls.
It’s about being seen — fully, honestly, imperfectly.
Even the parts of me that are still shy.
Even the parts of me that overthink.
Even the parts of me that repeat myself (yes, I’ve noticed that too — probably part of how my brain works, and I’m learning to embrace it).
This is me.
Unfiltered. Becoming.
The Life I’m Dreaming Of
If I’m being honest… I don’t just want success.
I want freedom.
I want to wake up in the Philippines, living a simple, intentional life.
Creating content. Sharing stories.
Documenting healing, culture, family, and everyday beauty.
I want to feel fulfilled.
I want to feel light.
I want to feel like I’m living my life — not one designed by fear.
And maybe this — all of this — is the beginning of that.
Ending the Day with Gratitude
The workday ended gently. Not too busy, not too overwhelming.
And again, I found myself feeling grateful.
Grateful for the support.
Grateful for the messages.
Grateful for the people helping me grow — even down to pointing out timestamps for edits in my videos.
You’re helping me refine this journey in real time.
And to those supporting me on Patreon — thank you for believing in me beyond the surface.
Final Thoughts
If there’s one thing I want to leave you with, it’s this:
You don’t have to be fully confident to choose yourself.
You don’t have to have everything figured out to start.
Sometimes, choosing yourself looks like showing up anyway —
even when you’re scared,
even when you’re unsure,
even when you’re still becoming.
So today, wherever you are in your journey…
Be who you want to be.
Be bold. Be soft. Be evolving.
But most importantly — be kind.
To others, and to yourself.
Have a beautiful day 🤍
Day in the life of a Filipina Nurse Practitioner 
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