Day in the life of a Filipina Nurse Practitioner

A Cold Morning and a New Week

Happy Monday. Today is another beautiful day to be gorgeous.

The morning started cold here in San Francisco as I prepared to head to work. I’m hoping the sun decides to show up later because when it does, the city becomes absolutely stunning. Even on cold mornings like this, there’s something comforting about starting a new week with intention.

Here we are again—another Monday, another workday.

But there is also something exciting ahead. Only two more weeks of work before Hawaii. Just thinking about that makes everything feel lighter. Sometimes having something to look forward to makes the routine days easier to move through.

Trying to Figure Out Monetization

One of the things on my mind lately has been trying to get my YouTube monetization working. For some reason, my AdSense account isn’t processing correctly. I feel like I’m missing a step somewhere, but every time I try to fix it, I end up clicking through things too quickly and confusing myself even more.

I’ve already tried twice.

So hopefully today I slow down, look at everything carefully, and figure out what’s wrong. Maybe the third time will be the charm.

Lunch Diaries and Quiet Thoughts

Later in the afternoon, during lunch, I sat outside with a salad and some vegetables. It was surprisingly warm and peaceful.

Lately, I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety. I know a big part of it comes from my overthinking. My brain just keeps running through different scenarios, questions, and “what ifs.”

Sometimes I wish there was an imaginary switch in my mind that I could simply turn off.

But it doesn’t work like that.

While scrolling through Instagram recently, I noticed that my feed has been filled with mental health posts. I guess the algorithm reflects what I’ve been thinking about lately—anxiety, purpose, and self-reflection.

Yesterday I saw something that stayed with me.

It said: choose the path that scares you more.

Choose the one that challenges you.

That thought really hit me.

The Fear of Being Seen

Making these videos is actually scary for me.

Every time I share something online, I’m showing parts of myself to the world. My thoughts, my emotions, my vulnerabilities. A lot of my anxiety revolves around how people might perceive me.

What if they misunderstand me?

What if they judge me?

What if I say something wrong?

But despite those fears, I keep making these videos. And maybe that alone is already me choosing the path that scares me.

I haven’t fully taken the leap yet into the life I imagine for myself, but continuing to share my story is a step toward it.

I do this because often I feel misunderstood, and this is my way of being transparent. It’s my way of explaining why I think the way I do, why I make certain choices, and what my inner world looks like.

The Two Lives I Want

Part of me dreams about living a simple life in the Philippines one day.

A slower life. A quieter life.

But another part of me still finds purpose in the work I do as a nurse practitioner. I care deeply about my patients and about being able to help people in meaningful ways.

So the question becomes:

Do I have to choose between the two?

Or can I build a life where both exist?

Maybe the answer is balance. Maybe it means frequent travel. Maybe it means seasons of working and seasons of slowing down.

Right now, I don’t know exactly what that looks like.

But I’m working toward a life where both parts of me can exist.

Learning to Manage Anxiety

A lot of my anxiety comes from worrying about how others see me. And when I think about it deeply, I realize those thoughts are really reflections of how I see myself.

So I’ve been trying to shift that mindset.

I remind myself that I’m doing the best I can. I’m trying to follow my dreams. I’m trying to create something meaningful through these videos.

Why should I be afraid of problems that haven’t even happened yet?

Why should I carry stress about situations that may never exist?

Part of my healing journey has been learning to choose which thoughts deserve my energy.

The Healing Power of Nature

During lunch I could hear birds nearby, and the sound immediately brought a sense of calm.

Nature has always grounded me.

The birds reminded me of moments in my healing journey—both here in the United States and memories of peaceful mornings in the Philippines. Sometimes the smallest sounds bring the biggest sense of peace.

After Work Reflections

After finishing my shift, I started heading home.

It turned out to be a beautiful afternoon. The sun was out, people were relaxing in the park, and the city felt alive. I had promised myself that I would start walking more on nice days like this.

But today, I decided to take things slow instead.

Sometimes slowing down is exactly what we need.

I’m planning to go home, spend some time with Daddy, and take her for a short walk before the day ends.

What Anxiety Really Looks Like

Anxiety can be invisible.

From the outside, everything might look normal. I can see patients all day, focus on their needs, make medical decisions, and provide care.

Functionally, I’m doing well.

But internally, those anxious thoughts are still there.

Sometimes I really wish there was a switch I could flip to turn it all off. But healing doesn’t work that way. It’s a process of learning, adjusting, and slowly changing how I respond to those thoughts.

Choosing Gratitude

Despite everything, I remind myself that there are still so many things to be grateful for.

I have a meaningful career.
I’m healthy.
I have supportive family—my mom and my brother have always been there for me.
And I have this platform where I can share my story honestly.

Being able to talk about moments of weakness, sadness, panic, and anxiety while still recognizing the beauty in life is something I value deeply.

Even on difficult days, there is always something good.

Looking Forward

Right now, I have Hawaii to look forward to. The idea of being near the ocean, relaxing, and resetting feels really exciting.

I’m also thinking about planning another vacation later this summer. I’m waiting to hear back from my brother because it’s been over a year since our last trip together.

We’ve had some amazing adventures—Costa Rica, Central America, Turkey, and Spain.

Maybe this year we’ll discover another place together.

Thank You for Being Here

To everyone who watches my videos, reads these reflections, and leaves comments—thank you.

I see your messages. I read your words. And your support means more than you probably realize.

Sharing my healing journey, my thoughts, and my vulnerability hasn’t always been easy. But knowing that some of you relate to these experiences makes it worth it.

Thank you for seeing me.

And thank you for walking through this journey with me.

Another beautiful day to be gorgeous, stunning, and hopeful.