Wednesday Reflections: Choosing Myself
Hi everyone. Good morning.
I’m currently on my way to work, walking toward the boat, soaking in another beautiful Wednesday. It’s one of those mornings where I remind myself: it’s a beautiful day to be gorgeous, stunning, amazing, happy, and kind. Just waiting for my rainbow like always. 🌈
We don’t have patients until 9:00 AM, and I have an interview scheduled at 10:00, so I figured I’d take this quiet moment to reflect.
First, I want to say I’m sorry for not posting much lately on my Filipino Nurse Practitioner Diaries channel. I was actually restricted for two weeks after accidentally posting a video I hadn’t fully edited. I forgot to blur out some parts, something I’m usually very careful about. But I was multitasking, and I slipped. It wasn’t intentional at all, and it sucks—but it happened. I’m considering reaching out to YouTube to see if they might remove the strike, but we’ll see.
Because of that, I’ve decided to shift things a bit. I’ll be posting fewer yoga videos on that channel and instead focusing them on a new, dedicated yoga channel. I’ve also decided to upload my yoga content primarily on Patreon, where there’s more creative freedom. I know it’s a bit pricey, but I’m intentionally creating a smaller, more intentional community—people who truly want to be there and support the journey. Maybe one day, when I move to the Philippines and live a simpler life, I’ll make it more accessible. But for now, this feels right.
Lately, I’ve also been thinking a lot about a friendship that meant so much to me.
It’s been hard. Really hard.
Letting go is never easy, especially when it feels one-sided. I’ve been sitting with this feeling of being disposable… like something that once mattered deeply is now just gone. And I keep replaying everything in my head—what I said, what I could’ve done better, what I needed from them.
I think when I said I couldn’t be their friend anymore, it came from a place of hurt. I felt unseen. Unheard. And that’s not the kind of friendship I want. Yes, I know I could be better too—but I was trying. I was asking for more, and it just wasn’t being met.
What hurts the most is the silence. I reached out. I tried. And there’s nothing.
People say time heals, but it’s been almost six months. November to now… and I’m still here, feeling it. I don’t know if time alone heals something like this. Maybe it just teaches you how to carry it differently.
Anyway… I didn’t mean to get emotional this morning. We’re almost at work, and I’m still recovering from being sick—finally starting to cough things out, so hopefully that’s a good sign.
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Lunchtime Diaries
Hi again, everyone.
I made it through the morning—it was busy, but I wanted to step out and take a breather here at the park. I really cherish these moments. After spending hours inside, in front of a computer, it feels so good to just be outside, to breathe, to exist on my own terms, even if just for a little while.
Right now, I’m in a season of exploration. A reset.
I’ve been asking myself a lot of big questions:
What do I want my life to look like?
Where am I going?
Who am I becoming?
These reflections have been grounding, even if they come with uncertainty.
It’s also my birthday this coming Saturday, and I’ve been feeling especially introspective. Thirty-eight years of life… and I can honestly say I’ve grown so much. Every experience—good and bad—has shaped me into who I am today.
And for the first time in a long time, I feel like I have the space to choose who I want to become next.
That’s the biggest shift for me right now: I’m choosing myself.
I haven’t always done that. For most of my life, I put others first. I worried about expectations, about how people saw me, about being enough for everyone else.
But now… I’m learning to listen to myself.
To trust my voice.
To honor my needs.
And honestly? It feels unfamiliar. A little scary. Sometimes even anxiety-inducing.
But it also feels freeing.
I’m becoming someone who is authentic, someone who inspires, someone who is truly living her life—not just going through the motions. I’m prioritizing my mental health, my physical health, and my overall well-being.
I’m choosing growth.
I’m choosing peace.
I’m choosing joy.
I’m choosing me.
And that feels amazing.
This chapter of my life is about building the version of Jasmine I’ve always wanted to be. And I’m really excited to see where this journey leads—maybe even all the way to the Philippines one day.
For now, I’m just going to enjoy this moment… sitting here, looking at this beautiful tree with pink flowers, breathing it all in.
Thank you for being here with me. I love you.
💛
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