Today is January 31st, 2026 — and it’s another beautiful day to be gorgeous, beautiful, stunning, amazing, kind, humble… and everything else. 💛
Tonight, I’m flying to the Philippines.
Our flight is at 11:30 PM.
And by our, I mean me… and the camera. Because I’m inclusive like that.
Right now, it’s almost 7:00 PM. Before heading to the airport, there was a very necessary stop at In‑N‑Out (because balance). Bags are packed, boxes are taped, and for the first time ever, I’m checking in an actual box. I waited. Hopefully, it’s accepted. If you know, you know.
This is a solo trip — but not really. I’ll be meeting my mom in the Philippines, and that alone makes this journey deeply meaningful.
A Journey That Feels Like Healing
We went to the Philippines last year to see my mom’s house. We furnished it, made it livable, and turned it into something that finally felt like home. This time, part of the plan is to continue that — adding small touches, making it warmer, more intentional, more us.
But this trip is more than furniture.
It’s a healing journey.
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it would feel like to actually move to the Philippines. I had a conversation today with one of my closest friends, JR, about that possibility. What’s holding me back right now is practical — student loans, waiting on forgiveness — but this trip feels like a preview. A soft launch into a different kind of life.
A slower one.
A simpler one.
One where I get to spend more time with my mom.
Burnout, Boundaries, and Choosing Myself
If I’m being honest, I’m tired.
Not just airport tired — but soul tired.
I think part of it is burnout. I’ve been working nonstop as a nurse practitioner, carrying the weight of other people’s lives, stories, and mental health struggles. I care deeply about my patients. I listen. I hold space. Sometimes, that means I run late — because people deserve to be heard.
But holding space for others without holding space for yourself eventually catches up.
This week, I realized something important: even as a provider, it’s okay not to have all the answers. It’s okay to say, “I’m not sure — let’s figure it out together.” And surprisingly, my patients appreciate that honesty. They see the care. They feel it.
Still, the emotional weight adds up.
And that’s why this trip feels perfectly timed.
I need rest.
I need healing.
I need to practice what I tell my patients every day: prioritize yourself.
Redefining Success
As I sit in the lounge — tired, reflective, and waiting to board — I’m realizing how much has changed this past year.
I survived a difficult environment. I lost friendships I thought were solid. I navigated disappointment, grief, and growth.
And yet… here I am.
Still standing. Still dreaming. Still choosing myself.
Growing up, success looked like a stable career. Respectability. Achievement.
And I did that.
I became a nurse practitioner. I serve my patients. They trust me. They appreciate me.
But I think I’m outgrowing that version of success.
Now, success looks like this:
A simple life in the Philippines
Traveling with my mom
Showing her parts of the world that shaped me
Living minimally, intentionally, and authentically
Thailand — especially Bangkok — holds a special place in my heart. It’s where I grew into the woman I am today. Soon, it will also be the first time I get to share that experience with my mom. And that feels full‑circle in the most beautiful way.
Gratitude, Growth, and What’s Ahead
Before boarding, I’m sitting with gratitude.
I recently reached 1 million views on Instagram — a goal I once whispered quietly to myself. I hope that momentum continues to amplify what I care about most: inspiring authenticity, healing, and self‑worth.
Lately, I’ve added two new affirmations to my daily mantra:
Another beautiful day to be kind.
Another beautiful day to be humble.
Kind to myself.
Humble in how I live.
Grounded in simplicity.
This is Episode 1 of my healing journey — on the way, somewhere between burnout and becoming, between departure gates and new beginnings.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for joining me.
Good morning. Today is January 30th, 2026 — and it’s another beautiful day to be gorgeous, amazing, stunning, and kind.
It’s my last day of work before we leave for the Philippines tomorrow. I’m heading in with a full heart, a tired body, and a deep awareness that this break is not just deserved — it’s necessary.
Yesterday was difficult. Today feels lighter. And that’s life, isn’t it? One day heavy, the next offering us another chance to begin again.
Burnout Whispers — and I’m Finally Listening
Lately, burnout hasn’t been screaming. It’s been whispering.
And before it gets louder, I’m choosing to pause.
As healthcare providers, we give so much of ourselves — emotionally, mentally, physically. I often find myself wondering who will take care of my patients when I step away, because I know the relationships I’ve built matter. I’m grateful for colleagues I trust and for patients who feel safe with me.
But I’m learning something important:
To take care of others well, I have to take care of myself too.
This trip feels like an act of responsibility — not abandonment.
Packing Light, Living Simply
I haven’t fully packed yet (I’ll show you how I pack soon), but I already know this will be a simple vacation.
A week or two of clothes. A washer and dryer waiting at home. And a few meaningful things I’m bringing to leave behind — an ice maker, a coffee maker, a shower head, small comforts meant to stay in the Philippines.
This trip isn’t about excess.
It’s about ease.
Grief Comes in Waves — Even When You’re Healing
I’ve said before that grieving a friend has gotten quieter.
But the truth is — the volume changes.
These past couple of days, it’s been louder. Maybe because I’m about to leave. Maybe because the Philippines holds memories I once shared with him. Maybe because silence leaves room for thoughts to echo.
I still haven’t heard from him.
And this time, I’m not pushing. I’m not chasing. I’m honoring what I’ve learned.
I spoke my truth — not to hurt, not to separate — but to grow. If honesty felt like an attack to him, then the distance may be necessary. That doesn’t erase the care I still hold.
Two things can be true:
I can accept the space.
And I can still miss him.
Lunchtime Diaries: Letting Myself Feel
By lunchtime, I’m sitting with rice and canned fish, wearing pink — intentionally.
In a world that can feel heavy, I choose color. I choose brightness. I choose softness.
I’m letting myself feel today. I’m not rushing grief. I’m not shaming myself for caring deeply. I don’t ghost people because I wouldn’t want to be ghosted.
That’s not weakness.
That’s values.
I’m Not “Too Much” — I’m Just Honest
Over the past few years, I’ve lost a colleague, a friend, and someone I once imagined a future with.
It’s easy to ask: What’s wrong with me?
But as I reflect — especially through these journals — I see something else.
I see growth.
I see someone learning to name her flaws without self-hate. Someone who can say, I was obsessive, without tearing herself apart. Someone who loved deeply and misunderstood teasing for safety — because her intentions were always rooted in care.
I am not too much.
I am not crazy.
I am human.
And the right people won’t be scared by my honesty — they’ll be grounded by it.
Choosing Peace Over Perfection
I’m done chasing perfection.
I’m done chasing people.
The people meant to stay will stay. The rest were part of a chapter — important, formative, and complete.
Right now, I’m grateful.
For my mom. My siblings. My partner. My friends who check in, who see me, who stay.
Thank you for choosing me back.
Tomorrow, I Go Home
Tomorrow, I fly to the Philippines.
I’ll garden. I’ll rest. I’ll heal old versions of myself. I’ll spend time with my mom. I’ll create. I’ll try — even when I feel shy — to document this journey.
This isn’t about becoming someone new.
It’s about returning to who I’ve always been.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. Thank you for witnessing this season.
Today is January 29th, 2026, and it’s another beautiful day to be gorgeous.
I’m writing this in the quiet space between exhaustion and gratitude. The kind of space where your body feels heavy, your heart feels full, and your mind is trying to make sense of everything it’s been carrying. The kind of space where you realize that you’ve been strong for a very long time—and that strength, while beautiful, still needs rest.
Choosing Myself, Choosing Peace
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about choosing myself. Choosing peace. Choosing softness without guilt.
For so many years, my focus was survival. Then it became ambition. Then it became purpose. I poured everything into building a life rooted in stability, impact, and service. I wanted a career that mattered. I wanted to show up for my community. I wanted to be someone people could trust when they were at their most vulnerable.
And somewhere along the way, I did it.
I reached the place I once prayed for.
I’m a Nurse Practitioner doing meaningful work. I listen. I see. I advocate. I sit with patients in moments that are raw and real and often unspoken. I hold space for stories that don’t always have words. And every once in a while, there’s a moment so human, so sacred, that it reminds me exactly why I chose this path.
The Sacred Moments That Remind Me Why
Yesterday, I shared one of those moments with a patient.
We didn’t have the same life story, but we shared something deeper—a lived experience that doesn’t need explanation. There was an understanding between us. A recognition. We paused together. Sat in silence together. Felt the weight of what had been carried.
I offered a hug. It was accepted. We were both tearful.
And in that moment, I remembered that healthcare isn’t just about diagnoses, plans, and documentation. It’s about presence. It’s about being human with another human. It’s about letting someone know they’re not alone, even if only for a few minutes in an exam room.
That is the dream. That has always been my why.
When Burnout Whispers
But here’s the part we don’t talk about enough.
You can love your work. You can be good at it. You can feel affirmed, appreciated, and aligned—and still be tired. Still be anxious. Still feel the quiet whisper of burnout.
Burnout doesn’t always scream. Sometimes it whispers.
It shows up in the long days. The skipped lunches. The emotional labor no one sees. The moments where you replay conversations in your head, wondering if you could have done more—even when you already gave everything you had.
Today was one of those days.
I can’t share details. And honestly, I don’t need to. Just know this: being a healthcare provider is hard. Even when you do your best. Even when patients are grateful. Even when you care deeply.
You cannot please everyone. And learning that—truly learning it—has been one of the hardest lessons of my career.
There are days when I question myself. When I wonder if I’m in the right place. And then there are days when a patient looks at me with relief, trust, or gratitude, and I know without a doubt that I am exactly where I’m meant to be.
Both can exist.
Representation, Trust, and Being Seen
I work in a space where people like me are not always visible. A Filipina provider with lived experience. Someone who understands what it means to navigate systems that weren’t built with you in mind. I take pride in that—not out of ego, but out of representation.
When I tell my patients that I receive my own care where I work, it matters. When I tell them I trust my colleagues, it matters. It shows them that I believe in the values of the space I’m in. That I feel safe being my authentic self. That I am seen, heard, and affirmed—not just as a provider, but as a person.
And that is the kind of space I want to create for my patients.
A space where they feel reassured. Where they feel respected. Where they feel held.
Choosing Rest Without Guilt
As I prepare to leave for a one-month healing journey to the Philippines, I’m realizing how much I need this pause. My schedule has been full—patients wanting to see me before I leave—and while that is humbling, it’s also a reminder that I’ve been running on empty.
This break is not a luxury.
It is necessary.
I’ve been anxious lately. Not because I don’t love what I do—but because caring deeply comes at a cost. And I’m learning that rest is not something you earn after burnout. It’s something you choose before it consumes you.
I’m choosing rest.
I’m choosing to slow down. To show gratitude for how far I’ve come. To remind myself that not knowing everything doesn’t make me weak—it makes me human.
Learning, Growing, Becoming
Saying “I don’t know” has become an act of courage.
Because when you say it, you ask questions. You seek help. You learn. You grow.
And growth doesn’t stop just because you’ve arrived at a destination.
I am enough—even on the days I doubt myself.
I am doing my best—even when it doesn’t feel perfect.
I am allowed to take a break—even when the world keeps spinning.
A Gentle Reminder for the Tired Hearts
If you’re reading this and you’re tired—especially if you’re in healthcare—please hear me when I say this: your work matters. Your presence matters. And you deserve care, too.
Choose yourself. Choose peace. Choose rest without guilt.
The work will still be there when you return. But you need to be whole enough to continue.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for witnessing this journey. Thank you for choosing to live authentically alongside me.
Good morning. 🌞 Today is January 28th, 2026, and we are officially three days away from going to the Philippines. It’s another beautiful day to be gorgeous, stunning, beautiful, amazing, positive, and happy.
I’m on my way to work, doing what I always do — my morning routine, my quiet reflections before the day fully takes over. Lately, these moments have meant everything to me.
Momentum, Visibility, and Choosing Myself
This morning I found myself reflecting on something that’s been quietly driving me lately: momentum.
I’ve been posting a lot on Instagram — more than usual. Five, sometimes ten reels a day. And yes, there’s a very tangible goal attached to that: one million views. Right now, I’m hovering around the mid-700Ks, and while the number itself isn’t the whole point, it represents reach, resonance, and visibility.
I didn’t set a hard deadline for myself, but I hope that by the time I leave for the Philippines, that million-view milestone will happen. Not because it validates me — but because it means these reflections, these stories, these moments are landing somewhere beyond me.
As I prepare to go home, I want to share more than travel content. I want to share a healing journey — one rooted in identity, self-discovery, and choosing yourself even when it feels uncomfortable.
This trip is my way of choosing me.
Choosing Yourself Isn’t Always a Clean Break
I want to be honest: I haven’t completely stepped out of my comfort zone yet.
I still have a good career. I still have stability. I haven’t fully let go of the life I’ve built — and that’s okay. Growth doesn’t always look like a dramatic leap. Sometimes it looks like running toward yourself, little by little.
And lately, I’ve been running.
Loneliness, Loss, and the Gift of Space
One of the recurring themes in my reflections this week has been loneliness.
Losing people — friendships, romantic connections — used to feel like failure. I used to take it personally, heavily, painfully. But something has shifted.
Now, I see it differently.
Losing people has given me something I didn’t realize I needed: time back to myself.
I’ve always invested deeply in relationships. I care hard. I show up fully. I believe in people — sometimes more than they believe in themselves. And yes, sometimes that means I believe in the wrong people.
But I don’t regret it.
At least I showed someone what it feels like to be loved. At least I showed up as my full, authentic self. At least I didn’t shrink myself just to keep someone in my life.
That matters to me.
When Someone Leaves, Let Them
I’ve realized something important: when someone doesn’t value me the way I value them, I don’t need to chase, convince, or diminish myself.
In the past, I stayed. I waited. I held on — sometimes until the other person eventually left. And while that pattern taught me a lot, I’m learning now that choosing myself sometimes means walking away sooner.
Still, I honor who I am.
I’m thoughtful. I give gifts. I remember birthdays. I care deeply, even early on. That’s not something to be embarrassed about. That’s not something to apologize for.
That’s me.
Loneliness Isn’t Emptiness — It’s Peace
What I’m experiencing now isn’t isolation.
It’s peace.
It’s reflection. It’s healing. It’s productivity. It’s clarity. It’s finally having the space to hear myself think.
I’ve spent so much of my life prioritizing others — making space for people, silencing my own desires so others could stay comfortable. And now, with fewer distractions, I’m finally prioritizing me.
And no, that doesn’t make me selfish.
It makes me aligned.
Healing, Anxiety, and Listening to My Body
I also want to acknowledge the reality of where I am physically and emotionally.
My anxiety has been louder lately. My body has been sending signals — hair shedding, coughing, overeating, restlessness. I feel it in my chest. I recognize it. And I know what I need to do next.
This is part of the healing too: listening, making informed decisions, and choosing health — not just survival.
I want to optimize my life. I want to build a future that feels expansive, intentional, and nourishing.
Lunchtime Diaries: Grounded and Grateful
By lunchtime, I could feel how much I needed rest. I was tired. A little scattered. Ready for a break.
And yet, even in that tiredness, I felt grounded.
I’m becoming more confident in who I am and where I’m going. I’m choosing relationships that accept me fully. I’m choosing time with my mom. I’m choosing healing old versions of myself — especially the ones that ran away when all they needed was connection.
This trip to the Philippines is about so much more than travel.
It’s about coming home.
Living Authentically, Even When It Feels Cringe
Sometimes I worry that sharing my life is “too much.” Too vulnerable. Too open.
But if even one person feels less alone because of these words — if someone feels more confident being themselves — then this journey has purpose.
I want to live in a world where people feel welcomed, valued, and safe being who they are.
I want to live — and create — with kindness.
So here I am. Choosing myself. Healing out loud. And stepping into the next chapter with hope.
Thank you for being here. 🤍
Let’s keep creating a world where authenticity is celebrated, not hidden.
January Reflections on Nourishing the Body, Heart, and Future
Another Beautiful Day to Be Gorgeous
Hi everyone, good morning. Today is January 27th, 2026, and it’s another beautiful day to be gorgeous.
Today’s content wasn’t planned, perfected, or polished — and honestly, those are usually my favorite kinds. We’re making homemade pizza, experimenting in the kitchen, laughing through the chaos, and letting life unfold as it is. Cooking, for me, has become a form of therapy. A way to stay present. A way to breathe.
We picked up a hand-stretched stone-baked sourdough pizza starter kit from Costco, and just like that, pizza night turned into a moment of grounding.
Two Pizzas, One Kitchen, A Lot of Love
We decided to make two types of pizza today:
Veggie pizza with mushrooms and artichokes
Hawaiian pizza with pineapple (because pineapple is life 🍍)
There was chopping, debating how much cheese is enough cheese (answer: always more), and laughing about artichokes, expiration dates, and whether olive oil magically preserves everything forever.
Cooking doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to feel good.
Cooking as Therapy
Lately, I’ve been experimenting more in the kitchen. Last week, I made a Japanese cheesecake and accidentally mixed the eggs too early. It still turned out good — maybe even better than expected. My partner (who is French, and therefore very hard to impress with food 😅) ended up eating most of it.
That moment reminded me of something important: Mistakes don’t cancel the magic.
Sometimes they make it sweeter.
Food, Culture, and Identity
French food celebrates simplicity and the natural flavor of ingredients. Asian food — the food I grew up with — celebrates boldness, spice, layers, and comfort.
Neither is better. Both tell a story.
And food, for me, has always been tied to memory, culture, and love. I remember growing up in Binalonan, Pangasinan, where pizza was such a big deal — even when it wasn’t the best pizza. It was still special.
Sometimes I wonder… if I do move back to the Philippines one day, maybe I’ll make pizza there too. Life has funny ways of planting seeds.
Quiet Truths I’m Learning to Sit With
While the pizza baked in the oven, I had a quiet moment alone — and those moments have been bringing up a lot lately.
I’ve noticed that I sometimes overthink how other people are acting around me. I read into energy shifts. I wonder if something is wrong. And I’ve realized that this habit creates more anxiety than clarity.
So right now, I’m practicing something new: Not pushing buttons. Not forcing conversations. Not searching for meaning where there may be none.
Just staying present.
Why This Trip to the Philippines Matters
I’m really looking forward to my upcoming trip to the Philippines. Not as a vacation with expectations, but as a healing journey.
Yes, I could go to Boracay. Yes, I could go to Palawan.
But right now, what I want most is peace and quiet.
Time with my mom. Time to garden. Time to plant seeds — literally and figuratively. Time to focus on becoming a better version of myself.
Healing doesn’t always look exciting. Sometimes it looks slow, quiet, and deeply necessary.
Choosing Peace, One Small Moment at a Time
Today reminded me that joy doesn’t have to be grand.
Sometimes it’s:
Homemade pizza
A warm oven
Laughter in the kitchen
Letting thoughts pass without grabbing onto them
And choosing — again and again — to focus on what’s right in front of me.
Until Next Time
Two pizzas came out of the oven today:
One veggie
One Hawaiian
Both imperfect. Both delicious. Both made with intention.
Just like life.
Thank you for being here, for witnessing the ordinary moments, and for allowing me to share this journey with you.
Until next time — Stay grounded. Stay gentle. And remember, it’s always a beautiful day to be gorgeous. 🌱✨
Some mornings begin with energy. Some begin with exhaustion.
Today was one of those mornings where my body reminded me that I’m human. On my way to work, barely 6:30 AM, thirsty, tired, watching someone already getting a ticket, and thinking… wow, it’s going to be a long but meaningful week.
And yet, it’s still another beautiful day to be gorgeous — even when gorgeous looks like showing up tired, but still showing up.
This week is busy. I’m fully booked before my one-month break, and somewhat fully booked when I return. A reminder that I am needed, trusted, and valued in my work — and also a reminder that rest is not optional, it is necessary.
A Simple Lunch, A Sacred Pause
At lunchtime, I found myself with something beautifully simple: Rice. Sardines in olive oil. A little calamari.
Nothing fancy — but nourishing in all the ways that matter.
As I sat there eating, enjoying the cool air and the sun, I realized something: Healing doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like sitting quietly, feeding yourself well, and allowing your thoughts to settle.
There is something deeply grounding about choosing simplicity in a world that constantly asks for more.
Letting Go Without Closing My Heart
I noticed something today — I haven’t been talking much about the friend I was grieving.
Not because it didn’t matter. Not because it didn’t hurt. But because I’ve finally reached a place of peace around it.
I still value him. I still see his worth. And if he ever reaches out, I will honor him the way I wish I was honored.
But I’ve also learned something essential: I cannot control how others feel about me. I cannot make people stay. All I can do is show up as my most authentic self and let people choose whether that resonates with them.
And the beautiful part? Some people have chosen me. They’ve seen most parts of me — the strong, the tired, the uncertain — and they’re still here.
That is where my peace lives now. In my tribe. In the people who continue to show up.
A Healing Journey Back Home
I am beyond excited for my upcoming trip to the Philippines.
Not because I have everything planned — I don’t. But because I’m craving something much deeper than a schedule.
I’m craving quiet. Peace. Time with my mom.
We’re heading to Bangkok for part of the trip, possibly Chiang Mai, depending on how my mom feels walking around. I’m learning to move slower. To honor her pace. To choose presence over rushing.
And honestly, that’s the kind of life I want to build — one that moves with intention, not pressure.
Building a Future Without Forcing the Timeline
I often talk about wanting to live in the Philippines one day.
And while I haven’t taken that full leap of faith yet, I’m laying the foundation — gently, intentionally.
Right now, I still find deep purpose in being a nurse practitioner. I want to continue practicing medicine in a way that aligns with who I am — possibly with my own telehealth practice in the future, allowing me flexibility and freedom while still serving patients.
I’ve completed two out of the six years needed before applying for my own practice. Four more years to go.
And a lot can happen in four years.
So I’m not rigidly banking on one outcome — I’m simply building options. Multiple paths toward the same vision: A life of simplicity. A life of autonomy. A life that allows me to care for others without abandoning myself.
Choosing Myself Without Abandoning My Calling
This is the balance I’m learning:
I can love my work AND I can prioritize my life.
I can care deeply for patients AND Still choose time with my mom.
I can be committed AND Still crave freedom.
The future I’m building is not just about where I live — It’s about how I live.
With intention. With authenticity. With courage. And with grace for the unknown.
Trusting the Unknown, Leaning Into Faith
Yes, part of me is afraid. Part of me is anxious.
But another part of me is learning to release control — To lean into God. To lean into the universe. To trust that where I’m going is unfolding exactly as it should.
All I ask for is this: A place where I belong. A life where I feel free to be myself. A future built on peace, purpose, and love.
And step by step, I’m getting there.
Final Thoughts
This journey isn’t rushed. It isn’t perfect. But it is mine.
Hi everyone, good morning. We’re in San Diego today, going for a quick walk and showing my friend around. Look at this view — it’s absolutely gorgeous. It’s a gloomy day here, but somehow that just makes everything feel softer, calmer, and more beautiful.
And of course… it’s another beautiful day to be gorgeous, stunning, amazing, and a little crazy ✨
Most of my videos lately have been from San Francisco, so today I wanted to share a different side of Jasmine — because I actually grew up here in San Diego, and it feels special to come back, even briefly.
🌫️ Tired but Grateful
You guys, I am so tired today. We had a long drive last night, barely slept, and my body is definitely feeling it. We went for a short walk this morning, had a buffet lunch (yes, that happened 😂), and now we’re walking it off at Balboa Park.
Honestly, I’m hoping I don’t get sick before my Philippines trip — this always happens when I’m overtired. But still… I’m grateful to be here, breathing fresh air, moving slowly, and being present.
🌿 Living in the Present
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how some people take me for granted, and how relationships can feel complicated sometimes. But today isn’t about unpacking all of that.
Today is just about:
walking
observing
enjoying
being here
There are days when I don’t have the energy to reflect deeply or share everything, and that’s okay. Some days are meant simply for living, not explaining.
🎨 Art, Music, and Quiet Moments
Balboa Park is full of little magic moments — sculptures, orchids, live music, and people just enjoying life.
Today is one of those days where I’m collecting:
small clips
quiet scenes
artsy visuals
soft memories
Not everything needs words. Some things just need presence.
✈️ A Healing Journey Ahead
I’m going to the Philippines next Saturday, and I’m really excited.
This trip feels like:
a healing journey
a time of rest
a moment to refocus
a space to reconnect with myself
I’ll be spending time with my mom, with loved ones, and honestly… just giving myself permission to slow down.
It’s going to be a month of: 🌸 rest 🌸 healing 🌸 reflection 🌸 peace
And I think I really need that.
🤍 Boundaries, Privacy, and Balance
I love sharing my life with you all, truly. But I’m also learning how important it is to:
keep some moments private
respect my loved ones’ boundaries
protect the sacred parts of my life
Not everything has to be online — and that’s part of growing, too.
Redefining Success, Preventing Burnout, and Dreaming of a Simpler Life in the Philippines
January 22, 2026
Good morning, beautiful souls. 🌤️
Today is January 22nd, 2026, and it’s another beautiful day to be gorgeous, stunning, amazing—inside and out. I’m on my way to work, bundled up because it’s a little chilly, but the sky is clear and the air feels hopeful. I’m standing here waiting for the Rainbow to cross the street, recording a simple little moment in my day, and feeling quietly grateful for this ordinary, extraordinary life.
I’m sleepy this morning, not going to lie. Tomorrow we wake up early for a work conference, and right after that we’re driving down to San Diego. We’re dropping off GI because Matthew is heading to France while I’m in the Philippines, and there won’t be anyone home to watch Dots. My brother graciously offered to take her for a month.
I think that’s one of the hardest parts about having a dog—you can’t just come and go as freely anymore. Traveling takes more planning. Going out to dinner takes more thought. There are sacrifices. But honestly? Dots saved me during my darkest season. She gave me unconditional love when I needed it most. So yes, I spoil her now. She earned it. And I’m endlessly thankful for her.
Choosing Myself, One Beautiful Ordinary Day at a Time
A Nurse Practitioner’s Morning Reflection & Midday Reset
Good morning, beautiful souls. Today is January 22, 2026, and it is another beautiful day to be gorgeous, stunning, amazing — simply because we are here.
I’m on my way to work, wrapped in a little chill and a lot of gratitude, watching the city wake up around me. There’s something quietly magical about these in-between moments — waiting for the ride, crossing the street with the rainbow light, sipping coffee while the world moves a little slower than usual.
This is just a small slice of a day in the life of a nurse practitioner — nothing extravagant, just presence, breath, and intention.
The Little Things That Carry Big Meaning
Tomorrow I’ll be waking up early for a work conference, then heading to San Diego to drop off Dots before I leave for the Philippines. Matthew will be in France, and Dots will be staying with my brother for a month.
And as simple as that sounds, it’s layered with so much emotion.
Traveling when you have a dog is never simple. You have to plan around love. You have to negotiate your freedom with responsibility. But Dots saved me during one of the darkest seasons of my life — and I will always honor that. She gave me unconditional love when I needed it most, and now it’s my turn to show up for her.
So yes, I spoil her. And yes, she deserves every bit of it.
Becoming the Woman Who Chooses Herself
As the car finally pulls up and I head to work, I find myself reflecting again.
I really am becoming that woman—the one who takes a leap of faith, who follows her heart, who chooses herself.
For most of my life, I defined success the way the world taught me to.
Berkeley. UCSF. Registered nurse. ICU nurse. Nurse practitioner in HIV medicine and primary care.
All of those are good things. All of those look great on a résumé.
But lately, I’ve been redefining what success actually means to me.
Right now, success is choosing myself.
It’s having the courage to think critically about where I am… and where I want to go.
And where I want to go is toward a life of fulfillment. A life of peace. A life of simplicity. A life where I prioritize my mom, my health, my joy, and the time I have left with the people I love.
Maybe success will mean something different to me one day. And that’s okay.
But today?
Success means building a life I actually want to wake up to.
Redefining What Success Looks Like
Lately, I’ve been becoming a new version of myself — a woman who chooses herself. A woman who takes the leap of faith. A woman who follows her heart even when fear is still present.
For most of my life, success looked like credentials and achievements: Berkeley. UCSF. ICU nurse. Nurse practitioner in HIV medicine and primary care. And I’m proud of that path. Truly.
But now, success feels different.
Success now looks like:
Choosing peace over pressure
Simplicity over spectacle
Fulfillment over applause
Family over expectations
To me, success is having the ability to think critically about where I am and where I want to go — and giving myself permission to choose a life that feels aligned, not just impressive.
A beautiful life, to me, is one where I choose myself — gently, intentionally, bravely.
Showing Up, Even When It’s Quiet
I’ve been very intentional about making these videos and writing these reflections.
They’re not reaching thousands of people. Not yet.
But I believe they’re reaching the right people.
And honestly, this is just as much for me as it is for anyone else.
This is me showing up for myself.
This is me practicing courage.
This is me telling my future self, “You did it, girl. You really did it.”
And if I can do it, so can you.
Lunchtime Diaries: Preventing Burnout
By lunchtime, I step outside into the sun.
I’ve already seen 11 patients this morning. I felt anxious earlier, but I got through it. Notes done. Patients cared for. Another small win.
Technology is honestly helping me prevent burnout.
And so is something else I take very seriously: time off.
My PTO balance is always zero or negative. My mom and brother make fun of me for it.
But I use it on purpose.
Because I love my work—but it is stressful.
And if I want to stay in this profession long-term, I have to protect myself from burning out.
That’s why I’m so excited for the Philippines.
Five more workdays.
Then I leave.
I don’t have much planned.
Just being home. Being with my mom. Resting. Resetting. Reflecting.
Planting seeds—literally and metaphorically.
Creating Space for Rest Before Burnout Arrives
By lunchtime, I had already seen 11 patients and finished my notes — and I paused. Not to squeeze in more work. Not to prove productivity. But to step outside, sit under the sun, and breathe.
I’ve learned to listen to the whispers of burnout before they turn into screams. That’s why I take my PTO seriously — sometimes down to zero, sometimes even negative — because rest is how I stay in this profession with love and longevity.
Vacations are not escapes for me. They are medicine.
My upcoming trip to the Philippines feels like a deep exhale — five more days of work, then I leave. And I can already feel the weight lifting.
Dreaming of a Simpler Future
Lately, my mind has been full of ideas.
A retreat house focused on wellness and healing.
Small group trips to the Philippines for mental health journeys.
Introducing people to the quieter, less touristy parts of Northern Luzon.
Maybe even learning to teach yoga.
I’m not business-savvy.
I just have dreams.
And I don’t fully know how to make them real yet.
But I know this:
I will make the Philippines happen.
I just don’t know how.
Or when.
Yet.
And that’s okay.
Dreaming of a Life Rooted in Healing
More and more, I find myself dreaming beyond just vacations.
I imagine:
A wellness retreat in the Philippines
Healing journeys for small groups
Yoga, reflection, rest, nature
Introducing mental health and emotional wellness in a culture where it’s rarely spoken about
Northern Luzon — Ilocos, Vigan — places rich with history, quiet beauty, and untapped stories. Places not yet crowded by tourism, still whispering their magic softly.
I don’t know exactly how I’ll get there. I don’t know when. But I know I will.
Right now, I’m planting seeds: Ideas. Reflections. Courage. And trusting that clarity will meet me in motion.
Rolling With the Flow
Sometimes life hands us a thousand possibilities at once.
And all we can really do… is roll with it.
This season of my life is about imagining.
About healing.
About becoming.
About being brave enough to live out loud.
Even when it feels cringey.
Even when it feels scary.
Even when no one is really watching.
Becoming the Woman Who Leaps
I’m not doing it yet — but I am becoming the woman who will.
And that matters.
These videos, these journals, these quiet reflections — they are my way of showing up for myself. My way of saying: “I see you. I believe in you. We’re getting there.”
Someday, I’ll look back and say, You did it, girl. You really did.
And if I can do it — you can too.
A Love Note to You (and to Myself)
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for witnessing this chapter of my life.
Thank you for letting me be my authentic self.
We’re building something quiet and beautiful here.
A life.
A community.
A future.
One small brave step at a time.
Today really is another beautiful day to be gorgeous, stunning, amazing.
A Filipina Nurse Practitioner’s Journey Toward Simplicity, Healing, and Radical Self-Accountability
January 21, 2026 — It’s another beautiful day to be gorgeous.
This morning, I woke up before my alarm — not because I had to, but because my heart was already awake.
There are days when your body is tired, but your soul feels restless in the most beautiful way. That was today. I found myself quietly reflecting before work, sitting in that gentle space between who I am and who I am becoming.
I’m on my way to work in San Francisco, living my present life as a nurse practitioner — caring for patients, moving through busy clinic days — while quietly dreaming about a future that feels softer, slower, and deeply aligned with my spirit.
And right now… that future feels like the Philippines.
In less than two weeks, I’ll be there. Not just traveling — but healing. Resetting. Remembering. Reconnecting with a version of myself that exists beyond productivity and performance.
This trip is more than a vacation. It’s a preview of the life I’m slowly designing.
Living in the Present While Building the Life I Want
I am learning how to hold two truths at once:
I am grateful for where I am. And I am deeply called toward where I want to go.
I show up every day as a Family Nurse Practitioner. I manage complex cases, care for patients, and move through the structure of a demanding healthcare system. I honor that version of myself — because she worked hard to get here.
But behind the scenes, quietly and intentionally, I am also building a vision of something simpler:
A life where:
Peace matters more than productivity
Presence matters more than performance
Alignment matters more than appearances
This isn’t about escaping responsibility. It’s about choosing a life that actually feels like living.
Burnout Isn’t Just Career — It’s Emotional, Relational, and Existential
When people hear burnout, they often think career.
But my burnout is deeper than that.
It’s burnout from:
Trying to please everyone
Carrying emotional labor in friendships
Over-explaining my choices
Shrinking parts of myself to maintain comfort for others
I’ve realized something important in this season: I wasn’t just tired of work — I was tired of performing.
And with that realization comes grief.
Because yes… I’ve lost friends.
And losing friends hurts. Not because they were bad people. But because at one point, they were my people.
There’s a quiet sadness when you realize that some relationships were meant for seasons, not lifetimes. There’s grief in realizing that not everyone is meant to grow with you — and that doesn’t make anyone wrong.
It just makes it honest.
Choosing Me Without Guilt or Apology
I’m 37, turning 38 in May — and for the first time in my life, I can say this clearly and confidently:
I am choosing me.
Not in a selfish way — but in a self-honoring way.
For most of my life, I prioritized:
Friendships over alignment
Other people’s comfort over my truth
Being liked over being authentic
I used to ask: “Will this upset them?” “Will they still accept me?” “Is this too much?”
Now I ask: “Is this aligned with who I am becoming?” “Does this bring me peace?” “Is this the life I want to live?”
Choosing yourself isn’t about abandoning others. It’s about finally standing beside yourself.
And the people meant for you will stand there too.
Accountability: The Hardest and Most Liberating Form of Freedom
Here’s what growth has taught me:
I cannot surrender to the universe without taking responsibility for my own life.
Surrender is not passive. It’s not waiting. It’s not hoping without action.
Surrender is: Trust + Responsibility + Courage
I am accountable for:
The life I build
The boundaries I keep
The peace I protect
The dreams I pursue
The standards I set
The universe may guide me — But I still have to walk.
And that realization is empowering.
Because it reminds me: I am not powerless in my own story.
Why the Philippines Represents More Than a Destination
I don’t yet know the exact moment I’ll move to the Philippines. But I know exactly why I want to.
Because I crave:
Simplicity
Quiet mornings
Slower days
Less noise
More life
I want: A life where silence feels safe A life where rest isn’t earned A life where peace is normal A life where joy is slow and sustainable
I want to travel the world with my mom. I want to live gently. I want to build a life that supports my nervous system — not one that constantly overwhelms it.
And while I am still planning, still preparing, still creating Plan B and Plan C — I am also allowing myself to dream without guilt.
Because dreaming is part of becoming.
Letting Go of Who Can’t Walk With Me
Not everyone will understand this version of me. Not everyone will celebrate this growth. Not everyone will choose to stay.
And that’s okay.
The people meant to walk with me will choose me — just as I choose myself.
I no longer chase validation. I walk in alignment.
I no longer perform. I embody.
I no longer shrink. I expand — gently, intentionally, unapologetically.
A Letter to My Future Self
Dear Future Me,
I hope when you look back on this season, you smile.
Not because it was easy — But because you were brave.
You didn’t wait for permission. You didn’t silence your calling. You didn’t abandon your truth.
You showed up. You tried. You believed — even when it was scary, lonely, or uncertain.
You chose yourself. Again and again.
And because of that… You are now living the life you once only whispered about.
With love, Your past self — who believed before it was visible.
Final Reflection: Designing a Life With Intention and Trust
Today, I am choosing a life I want to live. I am owning every step, every decision, every pivot. And I am surrendering the outcome to the universe — with trust, not fear.
Because this is what it looks like to live authentically. To evolve consciously. To design intentionally.
And as always…
It’s another beautiful day to be gorgeous, stunning, beautiful, and becoming.
Today is January 29th, 2026, and I’m outside taking a short break from work. I’m working from home today, laptop open beside me — except the Wi-Fi decided not to cooperate. After staring at a screen for hours this morning, I realized I needed to step outside, breathe, and give myself permission to pause.
And in this pause, once again, my mind wandered back to the Philippines.
Getting Closer to a Dream I Can Almost Touch
We’re getting closer and closer to our trip to the Philippines, and I feel it in my bones — that quiet excitement mixed with deep contemplation.
For the past few days, my thoughts have been circling around one central question: How do I get to the place where I finally say yes to myself?
How do I get to a place where I feel confident and comfortable enough to take that leap of faith — quitting my job, moving to the Philippines, choosing a life that feels aligned with my soul?
Part of me is waiting for the universe to nudge me harder. Another part of me knows… maybe the nudge is already here.
I love spontaneity. I love that mentality of “If you want something, just go for it.” But I’m also in a really good place right now — growing, evolving, moving forward in my career as a nurse practitioner.
And both of those truths exist at the same time.
Being a Nurse Practitioner… and Feeling Its Limits
Lately, I’ve been thinking deeply about how I could continue practicing as a nurse practitioner while living in the Philippines. I know it’s possible — especially after completing six years under physician supervision, which would allow me to practice independently.
I’ve already completed two years. Four more to go.
But in these first two years, I’ve also become aware of the limitations. For example, sending prescriptions out of state that aren’t acknowledged because of my NP scope — these are small realities that remind me that even my dream career has boundaries.
And sometimes, burnout quietly whispers behind me.
I find myself asking: Can I truly make this career sustainable for the life I want?
Or will my future look different than what I originally imagined?
Imagining a Simpler Life with My Mom
At the heart of all of this is one simple desire: A quieter life in the Philippines… with my mom.
A life that feels slower. A life where mornings are softer. A life where I can spend time with her, travel with her, and show her the beauty of the world she never got to fully experience.
Time is not limitless. And that truth gently presses on my heart.
I want to build a life that allows me to be present — not just successful.
Dreaming Beyond Medicine: Seeds of New Possibilities
As I imagine life in the Philippines, I find myself exploring other possibilities:
Raising native chickens on my dad’s land in Tublay, Benguet
Opening a small café or bakery
Building something rooted in my love for baking and coffee
Creating a brand around Philippine coffee, like Barako
I don’t yet know how much it costs. I don’t yet know how to begin. But I do know these ideas feel alive inside me.
I’ve baked for friends and coworkers for years — cookies, banana bread, oatmeal treats — and they’ve always been loved. Maybe that’s not just a hobby. Maybe that’s a seed.
Watching Others… and Wondering What’s Possible for Me
I’ve also been watching how expats and foreigners make life work in the Philippines — consulting, remote work, online jobs.
I know these paths are possible for me too.
But I haven’t fully committed to exploring them yet… because deep down, I haven’t fully committed to the decision.
And that’s okay.
This is a process.
Giving Myself a Gentle Timeline
Lately, I’ve been telling myself: If the universe doesn’t push me sooner, I’ll give myself until 40.
I’m turning 38 this year. By 40, I’ll have five years as a nurse practitioner — just one year away from independent practice.
That gives me time to:
Save more
Build financial security
Grow this platform
Clarify what I truly want
And prepare a foundation strong enough to land on
Three years feels long… but it also feels intentional.
A Tiny Taste of the Life I Want
Next month, I’ll be spending a month in the Philippines — and traveling to Thailand with my mom.
It’s just a tiny taste of the life I imagine for us. But sometimes, a taste is enough to awaken clarity.
I’m not forcing the decision. I’m allowing it to unfold.
Fear, Unknowns, and Building Safety Nets
What am I most afraid of?
The unknown.
But I’ve learned that fear doesn’t mean stop — it means prepare.
If I can build:
A strong financial base
Multiple income streams
A Plan B, C, and D Then maybe this dream becomes not just beautiful… but sustainable.
And sustainability is what my heart keeps returning to.
Little Joys Along the Way: Baking, Coffee, and Creativity
Recently, I tried making a Japanese cheesecake. It wasn’t perfect — I made mistakes — but it was still good.
And that reminded me: Everything starts imperfectly.
Maybe one day that cheesecake becomes part of a café menu in the Philippines. Maybe not. But right now, it’s teaching me to keep creating anyway.
Planting Seeds in Language, Love, and Life
I’ve also been thinking about speaking more Tagalog in my videos — maybe Ilocano, Pangasinan too. Reconnecting with language feels like reconnecting with roots.
I’ve been gently planting seeds in my partner’s mind too. He’s open to the idea. He’s even planning to visit the Philippines soon.
We’re dreaming together — slowly, intentionally.
Trusting the Process, Even When It Repeats
I know some of these thoughts sound repetitive.
But repetition is part of becoming.
The more I speak them out loud, the clearer they become. The clearer they become, the closer I feel to a decision. And that alone feels like growth.
Still Becoming, Still Believing
Maybe I haven’t made the leap yet. But I am becoming the woman who will.
And when that day comes — whether it’s at 40 or sooner — I hope I get to tell you:
I finally did it. I chose myself. I chose freedom. I chose peace.
Until then, I’ll keep walking this path with intention, reflection, and quiet courage.
Thank you for being here with me in this season of becoming.
And as always — Today is another beautiful day to be gorgeous, stunning, and fully alive.
Day in the life of a Filipina Nurse Practitioner 