Returning to Yoga After a Stressful Week | Anxiety, Healing, Sunlight & Starting Again
This morning started with laughter, chaos, and plenty of puppy energy. Nao was in one of her playful moods, zooming around the apartment, scratching for attention, showering us with kisses, and making both my mom and me laugh before the day had even properly begun. After a week filled with stress, overthinking, and very little content creation, it felt good to start the morning with something simple and familiar. We had already finished our grocery run to Costco and Seafood City, stocked up on food for the week, and returned home ready to ease back into our routine. Standing outside our apartment in San Francisco with my yoga mat, I realized how much I had missed these quiet moments.
Since returning from Hawaii last Tuesday, life has felt incredibly busy. I hadn’t done yoga or Pilates consistently for several days, and I could feel the difference not only in my body but also in my mind. The anxiety felt louder. The negative thoughts felt stronger. I found myself waking up in the middle of the night, struggling to sleep, and constantly replaying worries in my head. Much of it centered around my annual review at work. Even though I knew I had worked hard this past year, my mind kept preparing for the worst possible outcome. It’s funny how anxiety can do that—making us focus on everything we think we didn’t do well while ignoring all the things we actually accomplished.
Before starting my yoga session, I opened a can of Hawaiian Sun Lychee, my favorite drink from Hawaii. I brought home multiple six-packs, and honestly, a large portion of my luggage was filled with them. Every sip reminds me of the islands, the ocean, the healing moments I experienced there, and the sense of peace I felt while standing on those beautiful beaches. Hawaii gave me space to reset and reconnect with myself, and even though I returned home carrying some anxiety, I also returned with a deeper appreciation for slowing down and caring for my mental health.
As I prepared for my morning practice, I found myself reflecting on something that has become increasingly important to me: honesty. For much of my life, I have chosen to show strength rather than vulnerability. Like many people, I thought being strong meant handling everything alone. But recently, through conversations with my patients, coworkers, friends, and through this video diary itself, I’ve come to realize that vulnerability requires tremendous strength. It takes courage to admit when you’re struggling. It takes courage to say you’re anxious, uncertain, overwhelmed, or scared.
One of the most healing parts of sharing my life online has been discovering how many people relate to these experiences. Every time I speak openly about my fears, my overthinking, or my insecurities, someone reaches out and says, “I feel that too.” What I once considered oversharing has become one of the most meaningful parts of this journey. Sharing my struggles doesn’t make me weak. It allows others to feel seen. It reminds people they are not alone. And in return, it reminds me that I am not alone either.
I often tell my patients that opening up to friends and family is not a burden. In fact, it is a gift. So many times, after someone experiences a mental health crisis, loved ones say, “I wish I knew.” When we share our struggles, we give the people who care about us an opportunity to help. We allow them to show up for us. We allow them to love us through difficult moments. That isn’t weakness. That’s human connection.
As the sun slowly emerged from behind the clouds, I began moving through gentle stretches. My neck cracked with every rotation, reminding me how stiff I had become after neglecting my routine for several days. I focused on slow breathing using my favorite technique: inhaling for five seconds, holding for five seconds, and exhaling for five seconds. With each stretch, I felt my body begin to soften. The warmth of the sunlight felt incredible against my skin. The simple act of moving, breathing, and being present was enough to quiet the noise in my mind.
After yoga, I transitioned into Pilates, continuing to work on my mobility, flexibility, and strength. The sun felt absolutely amazing. Moments like these remind me why I value movement so much. It’s not about achieving a perfect body. It’s about creating space for myself. It’s about connecting with my body instead of criticizing it. It’s about choosing peace.
While exercising, I also found myself thinking about vitamin D and mental health. As a nurse practitioner, I frequently discuss this with my patients. Many people underestimate how much sunlight can influence mood, energy levels, and overall well-being. Even here in San Francisco, where sunny days are common, vitamin D deficiency remains surprisingly prevalent. Spending time outdoors, taking walks, sitting in parks during lunch breaks, and simply allowing ourselves to absorb sunlight can make a significant difference in how we feel emotionally.
As the session continued, I felt increasingly grateful—not only for the beautiful weather but for this chapter of my life. Looking back at my recent Hawaii videos, I realized that I have become more comfortable showing parts of myself that I used to hide. For years, I felt self-conscious about my legs and my stomach. I criticized my body constantly. But recently, I’ve noticed changes. My body feels stronger. More defined. More capable. And perhaps more importantly, I’m learning to appreciate it as it is. I’m Filipino. I have curves. I love rice. And that’s okay. Fitness for me is no longer about chasing perfection. It’s about becoming healthier while still embracing who I am.
Although I’ve talked many times about joining a gym, I continue to find so much comfort in these outdoor yoga and Pilates sessions. There is something incredibly healing about practicing in the fresh air, listening to the sounds around me, and spending time alone with my thoughts. Maybe someday I’ll invest in more Pilates equipment or eventually join a gym. But right now, this feels right.
As I finished the session, I found myself reflecting on one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned over the past year: I need to prioritize myself. For most of my life, I focused on pleasing others, worrying about how I was perceived, and adjusting myself to fit expectations. This journey has taught me that being authentic is far more valuable than being perfect. I am still kind. I still care deeply about others. But I am finally learning that I deserve that same kindness too.
This platform has given me a space to explore who I am and who I want to become. It has allowed me to embrace my authenticity, my imperfections, my vulnerability, and my growth. Every comment, every message, every person who takes the time to watch these videos reminds me that there is beauty in simply being ourselves.
As I rolled up my mat, Nao came running back, full of energy and excitement, ready for more cuddles and kisses. The sun was shining, my body felt lighter, and my mind felt calmer. It wasn’t a perfect morning, but it was exactly the morning I needed.
And for that, I am grateful. 💛
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