Lunchtime Diaries: Choosing Alignment, Building Again, and Enjoying a Beautiful San Francisco Summer
Oh my goodness, what a beautiful day it has been. I honestly can’t remember the last time San Francisco felt this warm. I always laugh whenever I remember the quote often attributed to Mark Twain: “The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.” While historians debate whether he actually said it, today certainly proves the opposite. Summer has finally arrived, and instead of fog, sweaters, and layers, we’re enjoying sunshine, blue skies, and temperatures warm enough to make me wish I had packed a bikini instead of my work clothes. It feels wonderful to step outside during my lunch break, soak up the sun, and simply breathe after a busy morning seeing patients. Sometimes these little lunchtime diary sessions become the best therapy, reminding me to slow down in the middle of an otherwise hectic day.
Today also marks something exciting that I’ve been looking forward to sharing. I officially reactivated my Filipina Nurse Practitioner Diaries account. It feels like reopening a chapter of my life that I intentionally paused while I focused on healing and rediscovering who I wanted to become—not only as a content creator but also as a healthcare provider and as a person. Starting over is humbling. Right now the account only has a handful of followers compared to the community I had previously built, but that’s okay. Growth rarely happens overnight, and I know from experience that rebuilding something meaningful takes patience. One video is already live, and while it has only reached a small audience so far, I know consistency matters more than immediate numbers. If I continue showing up authentically, the community that is meant to find me eventually will.
Looking back, it’s amazing how much my online journey has evolved. Having two monetized YouTube channels still feels surreal. My healing and yoga content continues to grow, even though one channel is currently paused and won’t return until September. In the meantime, Patreon has become a wonderful place where I can share more personal and creative sides of myself. It’s a space where I feel comfortable expressing more of my personality and offering supporters early access, behind-the-scenes moments, and content that simply doesn’t fit within YouTube’s guidelines. I’m incredibly grateful for everyone who has chosen to support my work because it reminds me that authenticity creates connection. Whether someone follows me for yoga, my nursing career, my healing journey, or simply because they enjoy listening to my reflections, I’m thankful for every single person who chooses to spend a few minutes with me.
Lately, I’ve noticed a quiet confidence growing inside me. It isn’t loud or performative. It isn’t about pretending to have everything figured out. Instead, it’s the kind of confidence that comes from surviving difficult seasons and realizing that I’m capable of carrying myself through uncertainty. Healing has changed me. It has taught me that I don’t need to chase every relationship or convince people to stay in my life. That realization became especially clear after recently reaching out to someone I still deeply care about.
Yesterday I reflected on this friendship, and today’s thoughts feel very similar. I truly appreciated reconnecting during Pride Month, and I’ll always treasure the role he played in my life. But I’m beginning to understand that appreciating someone doesn’t necessarily mean forcing the friendship to continue exactly as it once did. Sometimes people come into our lives to teach us something, to walk beside us for a season, and then to continue on their own journey. I don’t think either of us has done anything wrong. I simply think the timing isn’t aligned.
As I’ve grown older, my priorities have shifted dramatically. I’m no longer interested in relationships that leave me questioning my worth or wondering where I stand. I want friendships that feel reciprocal, intentional, and emotionally safe. I want conversations that go beyond surface-level updates. I want people who choose each other consistently instead of only when it’s convenient. Most importantly, I’ve learned that my peace is valuable. I no longer want to sacrifice my emotional well-being just to preserve a connection that isn’t naturally flowing.
For so much of my life, I stayed quiet to keep the peace. I minimized my feelings, ignored my intuition, and convinced myself that asking for less was somehow easier than asking for what I truly needed. Healing has given me my voice back. These days, I’m learning to use it—not aggressively, but honestly. If something feels misaligned, I’m finally allowing myself to acknowledge it instead of pretending everything is fine. That’s one of the greatest gifts this journey has given me.
Of course, letting go isn’t always easy. Anxiety and overthinking still visit me regularly. The difference now is that they no longer get to make my decisions. I notice them, acknowledge them, and then gently redirect my attention back to the present moment. Yoga, Pilates, journaling, and mindfulness have become daily reminders that I don’t need to control every outcome. Sometimes the healthiest thing I can do is surrender.
That lesson has also been showing up in my professional life as a nurse practitioner. Recently, I found myself replaying an encounter with a patient who wasn’t happy with how I communicated about a chronic condition. Initially, I did what I’ve always done—I overanalyzed every word, every decision, and every possible thing I could have done differently. But eventually I realized something important. One difficult encounter does not erase the countless meaningful interactions I’ve had with patients who appreciate my thoroughness, compassion, and proactive approach to their care.
Medicine is deeply human. Every patient comes with unique expectations, emotions, fears, and experiences. Some days communication lands exactly as intended, while other days it doesn’t. That doesn’t mean I stop learning. It simply means I continue growing. I can improve my delivery. I can become an even better clinician. But I don’t need to carry guilt that serves no purpose. Growth requires reflection, not self-punishment.
Perhaps that’s why I’ve been craving another reset. Thankfully, one is already on the horizon. In August, I’ll finally be traveling to Japan with my family for two weeks. The thought of stepping away from work, immersing myself in a different culture, enjoying incredible food, and simply existing without constantly thinking about productivity sounds exactly like what my mind needs. I know those two weeks will help refill my cup before returning to the responsibilities of work and content creation.
In the meantime, I’m making a conscious effort to enjoy everyday life. This past weekend I went hiking with my partner and our sweet Dobby, and being surrounded by nature reminded me just how restorative simple moments can be. I’ve continued practicing yoga and Pilates, which remain some of the most grounding parts of my routine. Every stretch reminds me to soften. Every workout reminds me that healing isn’t only emotional—it’s physical too. My body has carried me through stress, grief, long workdays, and countless transitions. It deserves kindness and movement.
During lunch today I couldn’t help laughing at myself. I checked my phone to see the temperature, completely got distracted, started talking about camping, remembered Instagram, celebrated that one of my reels had reached around 10,000 views, and then completely forgot why I had picked up my phone in the first place. Moments later I finally remembered—I was checking the weather. Eighty-two degrees! In San Francisco! That almost feels unbelievable. No wonder everyone seemed happier outside today.
Seeing that Instagram reel gain traction reminded me why I started creating content in the first place. I don’t simply want views or numbers. I want to reach people who need encouragement to live authentically, prioritize their mental health, embrace healing, and understand that it’s okay to reinvent yourself. If even one person feels less alone after watching one of my videos, then every hour spent filming, editing, and sharing becomes worthwhile.
The warmth today also made me realize how much I miss spending time outdoors. I’ve been thinking about going camping for quite a while now. I’m not entirely sure whether I should try it with Dobby by ourselves or wait until I have company, but the idea of sleeping under the stars, waking up surrounded by trees, disconnecting from technology, and reconnecting with nature sounds incredibly healing. Nature has always had a way of quieting the noise in my mind.
Of course, life still requires balancing dreams with practical realities. I’d love to treat myself to a massage because my back has definitely been complaining lately, but I’m trying to stay disciplined financially. Every dollar saved brings me one step closer to another dream that means so much to me—building a home in the Philippines. It’s one of the long-term goals that continues to motivate me, reminding me that every sacrifice today contributes to something bigger tomorrow.
As I sat in the sunshine, eventually moving into the tiny patch of shade because it became almost too hot, I found myself smiling. Life isn’t perfect. There are friendships that remain uncertain. There are moments of anxiety, difficult patients, financial goals, and unanswered questions about the future. But there are also warm afternoons, meaningful work, family trips to look forward to, hikes with loved ones, a playful dog waiting for adventures, yoga mats waiting to be rolled out, and a growing community of people choosing to walk beside me through this healing journey.
For now, that’s more than enough.
So I’ll continue choosing peace over pressure, alignment over attachment, and authenticity over approval. I’ll continue trusting that what’s meant for me will never require me to abandon myself. I’ll keep creating, healing, moving my body, caring for my patients, loving the people who choose to stay, and embracing each beautiful day exactly as it comes.
Thank you for spending another lunchtime diary with me. Thank you for following my journey, supporting my content, and allowing me to share these honest reflections with you. Whether you’ve been here since the beginning or you’ve only recently found this little corner of the internet, I’m grateful you’re here.
Here’s to warm summer days, continued healing, and choosing ourselves—again and again.
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